


When I Loved You

by Bow_Woww



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: (again), Amnesia, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Canon Compliant, Communicating like GODDAMN ADULTS, Established Relationship, Eventual Smut, Falling In Love, Fluff, Future, Injury, M/M, Major Character Injury, Married Couple, Memory Loss, Misunderstandings, Post-Canon, Smut, Supportive Katsuki Yuuri, Supportive Victor Nikiforov, implied injury, not responsible for any cavities, soft amnesia au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-12
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2020-12-13 20:57:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 34,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21004058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bow_Woww/pseuds/Bow_Woww
Summary: Victor had held out hope that Yuuri would wake up one morning and remember him, remember them, but the more time went on, the less likely it seemed. Yuuri would squint and frown at pictures of them, like he couldn’t quite believe what he was looking at. Sometimes, Victor would catch Yuuri staring at his ring, twisting it in the light and looking like he was thinking very hard. It never looked like he was thinking of anything good.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is another one of those ideas I've had in my head for ages and just had to get out. I plan on continuing it eventually, but I have a few other WIPs I'm working on first. I just really needed to get this idea in writing!

“Hey, can we talk?” 

Victor looked up from his book, his eyes falling on Yuuri’s tentative form in the doorway. It made Victor’s heart clench, to see Yuuri looking so hesitant about coming into his room. Yuuri hadn’t been hesitant about Victor since he’d shown up in Hasetsu more than 3 years ago. Then again, Victor hadn’t had his own room in almost as long either. 

Swallowing hard, Victor replied, “Of course. Come on in.” 

Makka’s tail thumped as Yuuri entered the room. She sat up slowly from her spot curled up on the bed, her old joints creaking as she leaned in toward Yuuri for attention. Yuuri smiled, reaching over to scratch behind her ears. Even in her advanced age, she was still begging for attention like a puppy. 

Yuuri finished petting Makka, then sat down at the edge of Victor’s bed, leaning away like he was afraid to be too close to Victor. They’d made progress since the accident, but Yuuri still flinched away when Victor reached out, and always put an object (or Makka) between himself and Victor when they sat down near each other. Yuuri was pulling away, and it was terrifying to Victor. It felt like Yuuri was getting ready to make a clean break. 

Victor had held out hope that Yuuri would wake up one morning and remember him, remember _ them _, but the more time went on, the less likely it seemed. Yuuri would squint and frown at pictures of them, like he couldn’t quite believe what he was looking at. Sometimes, Victor would catch Yuuri staring at his ring, twisting it in the light and looking like he was thinking very hard. It never looked like he was thinking of anything good.

Yuuri was looking at him like he was trying very hard to keep his face neutral, but Victor knew him far too well to not read the determination in his eyes. The last time Victor had seen that expression, was years ago in a Barcelona hotel room, when Yuuri tried to retire from skating. When Victor thought Yuuri was breaking up with him. Yuuri had already expressed his desire to keep skating, so if Yuuri was looking to end something…

“Victor?” 

A questioning voice snapped Victor out of his thoughts. Yuuri was staring at him with furrowed brows, like he was trying to read Victor’s mood. It hurt Victor to think about how Yuuri never would have had any trouble before, always knowing exactly what he was thinking. 

“Sorry,” Victor replied. “What did you want to talk about?” He tried very hard to keep his voice even, to not think about how his husband, his life and love, was about to break up with him. 

“I’ve been thinking,” Yuuri started, tapping his fingers nervously on his knees. His body was still angled away from Victor, but he was turning his head so he could look him in the eye. “About us.” 

Victor swallowed hard against his nerves. “Oh?” he tried to say casually. It seemed he was right. Victor wondered bitterly if Yuuri would say “let’s end this” again. 

After a brief pause, Yuuri continued, “A lot has happened since the accident. A lot to process.” He smiled softly at Victor. “Finding out that I’m married to you, and that I’ve had the skating career I could have only ever dreamed of. Thanks to you.” 

“You did it all on your own,” Victor insisted. “I just helped you get there.” 

Yuuri’s hand twitched like he wanted to reach out, but instead he just gripped at his pant leg. “Victor…” he swallowed hard. “I--”

“You don’t have to say anything, I understand,” Victor whispered, the tears prickling in his eyes. 

Yuuri frowned at him. “You...understand?” 

Victor sniffled, the tears flowing freely now. “You don’t know me. You don’t know us. I get it.” 

“Victor--”

“It’s ok, Yuuri.” He looked up at his husband through tear-filled eyes. “I just want you to be happy. Even if that means I’m not in the picture.” His voice broke on the last word, and he frantically rubbed at his eyes with his sleeve. 

The mattress creaked and dipped, and then a gentle hand grasped Victor’s wrist, pulling his hand away from his face. Yuuri’s fingers tentatively touched his cheek, carefully catching teardrops on his fingertips. “I didn’t expect you to cry,” Yuuri mumbled in wonder. 

Victor almost laughed at the familiarity of the statement. He couldn’t be mad this time, though. It wasn’t fair for him to force himself into Yuuri’s life when he wasn’t wanted. It’s not like Yuuri could remember why they’d gotten together in the first place. Yuuri couldn’t even remember that he loved Victor. He couldn’t remember their first kiss. He couldn’t remember when they moved in together. He couldn’t remember _ them _. 

“I’m sad. I’m going to miss you,” Victor admitted. He didn’t want to make Yuuri feel bad, but he didn’t want to lie either. It would be hard without Yuuri, going back to his old, lonely life. It was hard to imagine going back to that cold reality, now that he knew the warmth and light that Yuuri added to his life. He didn’t even know how much time Makka had left before he’d be really alone. But that didn’t change anything. He couldn’t make Yuuri remember him, or love him. 

“You’re going to miss me?” Yuuri asked, his brows furrowed in confusion. 

That stung. Even if Yuuri couldn’t remember what they’d had, couldn’t he at least believe that Victor’s feelings were real? “Of course I will. But it’s ok, I get it. I’m a stranger to you, I don’t expect you to stay with me.” 

Yuuri blinked at him a few times, before his expression softened. His other hand came up to Victor’s face, and then he was cupping Victor’s cheeks in his hands. He smiled sadly at Victor, the beginnings of tears in his own eyes. “Victor...what do you think is happening here?” 

Victor glanced down so he didn’t have to see Yuuri’s face, but he didn’t pull away. This was probably the last time he’d ever feel Yuuri’s touch, so he wanted to savor it. He wanted to be selfish, one last time. “You’re breaking up with me,” Victor replied weakly. 

“Oh, Victor.” Yuuri’s voice was soft, and his hands were gentle as he tilted Victor’s face up to look at him. He leaned in, pressing a brief kiss to Victor’s forehead, making Victor’s breath catch. As Yuuri leaned back, his expression was warm and open. “I’m not breaking up with you.” 

Victor’s eyes widened. “You’re not?” 

Yuuri shook his head, sniffling. “No. The opposite, actually.” 

“What do you mean?”

Yuuri finally released his grasp on Victor’s face, and Victor mourned the loss of touch, until Yuuri reached forward and intertwined his fingers with Victor’s. “I want to know you. I want to know _ us _.”

“You do?” Victor was tearing up again, this time from happiness and hope. 

“Yes,” Yuuri replied resolutely. “I’m sorry I’ve been so distant, I didn’t mean to upset you. I was just...scared. I couldn’t believe that you could possibly want to be with me, especially when I couldn’t remember anything about us.” 

Gripping Yuuri’s hand, Victor replied, “I’ll always want to be with you. I know you don’t remember, but I made a vow. And I meant it.” 

Yuuri offered a watery smile in return. “Could we try, then? Is it possible for us to pick up the pieces?” 

“Yes. Of course,” Victor replied without any hesitation. 

“Will you…” Yuuri bit his lip, like he was nervous to say what was on his mind. “Can you help me? Learn about us, I mean? I don’t know if I’ll ever remember, but I want to know what we had.”

“Yuuri…” Victor’s voice broke, and he squeezed Yuuri’s hand. “I would love nothing more.”

Yuuri smiled at him. “So...how do we start?” 

Reaching into his pocket, Victor pulled his phone out. “Let me show you our first pair skate.” He opened YouTube, searching for the video. 

Yuuri shifted around on the bed as Victor searched, glancing hesitantly at the empty space next to him. Victor smiled, opening his arm to indicate there was room. Yuuri accepted the invitation, crawling up next to Victor and tucking under his arm. He was blushing profusely, looking flustered by the close contact. Still, he didn’t pull away, and even leaned against Victor so he could see the video. They sat close together, and Victor watched Yuuri’s eyes widen with wonder as the two of them skated their love on the the tiny phone screen. Victor had seen the video so many times, he didn’t need to look to picture what was happening. Instead, he watched Yuuri, his eyes sparkling and a small smile plastered on his face. 

Maybe Yuuri would never remember them. Maybe they would have to start over. As long as they were both willing to try, Victor had a feeling that they’d be ok. 

  
  



	2. Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri's injury and the immediate aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I said I'd be back! You'll notice that some tags have been added...including that the rating will go up! BookewyrmeWritesFic has once again acted as my beta and provided some juicy smut. I hope you all enjoy the expansion of this AU. I was really excited to share this one! This chapter is a little angstier than the others, I hope you can forgive me with promises of future fluff!
> 
> Updates on Mondays.

~1.5 months prior

“Look out, World champion coming through!” 

Yuri rolled his eyes. “We get it old man, you don’t need to announce it every time Katsudon enters or leaves a room.” He took a big gulp of water, glaring at Victor as he did. 

“But everyone needs to know!” Victor insisted with a pout.

Yuuri shot Victor a stern look as he stepped onto the ice. “They were all there, Vitya. They know. Besides, you said it before I left too.” 

“Can we limit announcements to one per bathroom trip, please?” Yuri begged, aiming his inquiry at Yuuri.

“Don’t look at me, I don’t have any control over what he’s doing.” Yuuri was making a disapproving face, but Victor knew him well enough to know that he was secretly pleased. He had that little smile on his face and twinkle in his eye that gave him away. Yuuri was just as excited as Victor was about his victory. 

Victor pushed off from the boards, pinching his husband’s arm playfully as he glided by. Yuuri swatted at him, but he was smiling, and looking unfairly beautiful considering they’d been practicing all day. But to be fair, Yuuri was always beautiful. 

“Can one of you dinosaurs help me with my quad flip?” Yuri requested, looking between Victor and Yuuri. 

Yuuri tsked at him. “Yura, we’re supposed to be taking it easy. You don’t need a quad flip for the ice show.” He shook his head. “We’ve barely been back for a week and you’re already trying to work on more quads. You need a break!” 

Yuri shrugged. It was a testament to how much he’d grown in the past few years that he didn’t snarl at Yuuri for suggesting that he might be overdoing it. Instead he just waved his hand dismissively. “I’ve almost got it, anyway. I just want to be ready for next season. Now that this geezer has finally retired,” he jabbed a finger at Victor, “someone has to be ready to kick your ass!” 

If only to get a rise out of Yuri, Victor was tempted to point out that he should focus on beating that Canadian skater he hated, but Yuuri gave him a sharp look, like he knew what Victor was planning to say. It wasn’t his fault Yuri was so fun to tease! Yuri had been fighting against Jack Jack Elrond (or whatever his name was) since his first Grand Prix series. The Canadian skater claimed they were rivals, but Yuri just claimed the other skater was an asshole. 

“Come on, show me while you’re still in peak competition shape!” Yuri asked again. “I need to make sure I have plenty of time to work on it before next season.” 

Maybe Victor should feel jealous that Yuri was asking someone else to help him with Victor’s signature jump, but he wasn’t. Victor was ready to be done with quads. After Worlds, where he miraculously didn’t injure himself and managed to stand on the podium next to his husband, he felt ready to jump head first into retirement. His knees hurt, and he’d had a few close calls with injuries over the past season. He was more than happy to let Yuuri take the reins on a quad lesson. Plus, Victor still got a thrill from watching Yuuri perform his signature move. It reminded him of their first kiss at the Cup of China during their first season together. Every time he saw Yuuri land a quad flip, which he did the vast majority of the time he attempted them now, he swore he felt his heart beat to match. 

Yuri had mastered his “Makkachin face” (as Yuuri called it) after realizing that he could sucker Yuuri into pretty much anything by pouting pathetically like a sad puppy. It was also very tempting to point out that Yuri had learned this behavior from  _ Victor _ , but that would definitely set the younger skater off. He always gave credit to Victor for choreography or teaching, but he still hated admitting how much Victor had really influenced him. 

The pout worked like a charm, and Yuuri gave in with a sigh. Victor chuckled, shaking his head fondly at the pair. He skated out of the way so the two could have room to work, then he just watched. Yuuri was explaining his technique to Yuri, adjusting his form gently and precisely. He really was quite a good teacher, even if he didn’t always believe it. He’d managed to convince Yuuri that they should coach younger skaters together once Yuuri decided to retire, but his husband still muttered about not being good enough. 

Movement caught Victor’s eye, snapping him out of his thoughts. Yuuri was setting himself up for a demonstration, his face scrunched up in concentration. Yuri was watching with rapt attention, as were a few younger skaters, who were staring at Yuuri with awe written clearly on their faces. Yuuri took off, landing perfectly with a sharp sound that echoed around the arena. Victor smiled as Yuuri skidded to a halt, enjoying seeing his husband so comfortable. 

Yuuri said something that Victor couldn’t quite catch, and then Yuri skated off with a nod. He tried to mimic what Yuuri had done, but the take off wasn’t quite right. He landed with a dull thud, cursing the whole time. For as much of a quad machine as Yuri was, he had yet to get a good grasp on the quad flip. His massive growth spurt had really put him back a few seasons prior, when he’d had to relearn all of his jumps to compensate for the change in his center of gravity. 

Yuri stood up, brushing himself off. He nodded at Yuuri’s newest advice, then tried again. This time, he was close, but he couldn’t quite stick the landing. He at least managed to stumble and stay upright. For Yuri, however, that wasn’t enough. “Ugh, show me again! I can get it!” 

“I’m sure you can,” Yuuri agreed, no trace of sarcasm in his voice. “Watch how I hold my upper body, I think that’s where you’re getting a little off.” 

Once he made sure he had room, Yuuri set up for another jump. This time, Victor knew something was off as soon as Yuuri took off. Victor had done this jump countless times, and he’d seen Yuuri perform nearly as many. He knew what a quad flip was supposed to look like, and that wasn’t it. Victor stiffened as Yuuri came down hard, followed by a brief yelp of pain as Yuuri tried to break his fall, then a sickening thunk as his head hit the ice. 

“Yuuri!” Victor took off instantly, racing toward his husband’s limp form. Yuri was already kneeling down, calling out to Yuuri, but not moving him. Victor kept expecting Yuuri to roll onto his back, huffing with embarrassment like he always did when he failed to land a jump. He’d be fuming, but he’d stand up, shake it off, and try again. And again, an impossible number of times that left Victor winded just watching him. That’s what he should do, but he didn’t. He kept laying there, not moving.

Victor scrambled onto his knees, far too graceless for a skater with as many gold medals as he had. He peered over Yuuri’s still form, his heart hammering. “Yuuri, love, please tell me you’re ok.” He held out a hand, but pulled it back when Yuuri didn’t respond. Thankfully, Victor could see the rise and fall of Yuuri’s chest, but he could also see a puddle of crimson staining the ice under Yuuri’s head. 

“Call an ambulance!” Someone yelled, maybe it was him. Victor wasn’t sure. Tears were blurring his eyes, and all he could hear were his desperate pleas for his beloved to be alright. Time was flowing strangely; he could have been sitting on the ice in front of Yuuri’s limp form for minutes, or hours, he didn’t know. His knees were aching and the ice had soaked through his clothes by the time Yuuri was being lifted onto a stretcher, but he barely felt the cold or discomfort. He held Yuuri’s hand in the back of the ambulance, tears streaming down his face. He kept hoping it was a nightmare, that he would wake up in their bed tangled together under the covers, and Yuuri would whisper soothing words and kiss away his tears. But he didn’t wake up.

Even as a nurse gently held him back from following Yuuri down a sterile white hallway, he didn’t wake up. He vaguely heard someone say the words “stabilize” and “CT scan”, but he wasn’t entirely sure who was talking to him. 

Yuri showed up just minutes after Victor, gently guiding him to a chair and putting a steaming cup of coffee in his hands. “I called mama Katsuki on the way here,” Yuri whispered, like he was afraid to startle Victor. He looked almost as awful as Victor felt, his face pale and his long hair pulled haphazardly into a messy bun that didn’t quite hold all of the pieces. 

“Thanks,” Victor replied numbly. 

“She said to keep her posted. They’re looking into plane tickets now.” Yuri continued. 

“Ok.” 

After a few beats of silence, Yuri murmured, “He’ll be fine. Katsudon is the most stubborn bastard I’ve ever met.” Despite the statement, Yuri’s voice was small. It was the youngest he’d sounded in years. 

Victor gripped his coffee cup, his nails digging into the styrofoam. “I know,” he agreed. Yuuri would be ok. He  _ had to _ be ok. Victor didn’t want to think about what he would do if…

No. Yuuri was going to be fine. 

Yuri sniffled, but he quickly tried to hide it with a cough. Victor looked at him in surprise. Yuri wasn’t a crier, but he was desperately wiping away tears. Victor put an arm around him, and Yuri didn’t protest, which made Victor realize how upset the younger skater really was. Victor knew Yuri well enough not to say anything, so he just sat with him until Yuri pushed him away, murmuring about Victor being embarrassing. He pulled out his phone, pointedly not looking at Victor, and occupied himself while they waited. Victor didn’t take it personally. He knew Yuri was coping with Yuuri’s injury in his own way, so they sat in silence, barely acknowledging the television that was on in the background, or the analog clock that was ticking overhead as time kept flowing by.

It was unclear how long they’d been there, but Victor was starting to get anxious waiting for news. The harsh hospital lights glinted off of Victor’s ring, catching his attention. He glanced at the golden band, feeling a lump forming in his throat. He jumped as Yuri patted his arm, gesturing to a woman in a white coat that was approaching them. Victor blinked a few times, wondering how long he’d been zoning out. His coffee was cold, and there was a kink in his neck from sitting hunched over for too long. It was strange, because it felt like he had watched Yuuri be wheeled away just moments ago. 

“Mr. Katsuki-Nikiforov?” 

Victor stood up. “Is my Yuuri ok?” 

The woman introduced herself as Yuuri’s doctor, then gestured to Victor and Yuri to follow her. Victor vaguely wondered if Yuri was allowed to be privy to this discussion, since he wasn’t family, but there had been a spark of recognition in the doctor’s eyes when she saw them, so she was probably making an exception for them. 

They followed her into a small, comfortable room with cozy chairs and a coffee table. Victor gulped as they sat down. This looked like a room where they would give someone bad news. 

“I just wanted to give you an update before you go to visit your husband,” the doctor explained. 

Victor’s attention snapped to her. “I can see him? He’s ok?” 

She nodded. “Yes, he woke up just as we were getting him settled in. He has a concussion, and I’m waiting to have the CT results read out to find out if there is any more serious damage. The fact that he regained consciousness is a good sign.” 

Victor sighed in relief, a small sob escaping his lips. The doctor gave him a sympathetic look, then handed him a box of tissues. Victor accepted gratefully, blowing his nose as the doctor continued her explanation.

“He was quite disoriented, which isn’t surprising, so we just wanted to give you a heads up before you went in. Once you’re together we can discuss the results with both of you, but perhaps you would like a quick visit first?” she offered. 

The cynical part of Victor’s brain was telling him that she just wanted to make sure they were paying attention when she talked to them, and not in the middle of a reunion, but he was grateful for the opportunity. “Yes, please. I need to see him.” 

The three of them stood up, but Yuri decided to hang back. Victor smiled gratefully. Yuri was practically family at this point, so Victor didn’t mind him being there, but he had to admit that it would be nice to have a few moments alone with his husband. 

Victor was led through a maze of white walls and tiled floors to a plain door, where the doctor knocked before cracking the door open. “You have a visitor,” she announced, gesturing for Victor to come inside. 

Victor held back another sob as his eyes fell on Yuuri. He was awake, which was enough to make Victor want to burst into tears again, but he looked pale, and there was some bandaging on his head. His eyes were wide and darting around in confusion, and he was biting his lip anxiously. Victor couldn’t blame him for being anxious after waking up in a hospital, probably sore and confused. He wondered if Yuuri even remembered hitting his head, or if Victor would have to tell him what happened. 

“Yuuri,” Victor sighed, relief coursing through him. 

“I’ll give you two some time, and then I’ll be back to speak with you both,” The doctor told them with a firm nod, before exiting the room and closing the door behind her. 

Yuuri was staring at Victor with wide eyes, his mouth hanging open. He was fidgeting nervously, looking unsure. It broke Victor’s heart. Yuuri was probably afraid Victor would be upset with him. Either upset for worrying him, or if his anxiety was feeling particularly nasty, upset for ruining Victor’s favorite jump. Victor would just have to assure him that neither were true. It had been an accident, and accidents happened all the time. Everyone fell sometimes, including Victor. It wasn’t like Victor had never hit his head before. 

“I’m so glad you’re ok.” Victor took a step toward the bed, reaching out toward his husband. 

Yuuri stiffened, making Victor stop in his tracks. He assessed Yuuri, trying to figure out what he needed. Generally, when Yuuri was upset or anxious, he wanted to be by Victor’s side. There were times, though, when he needed space to process his emotions. Victor really hoped this wasn’t one of those times, because he never wanted to let Yuuri out of his sight again. 

“Yuuri? What can I do? What do you need right now?” 

Impossibly, Yuuri’s eyes widened further, like something about Victor’s words or voice were surprising. “I…” he glanced around again, frowning at his environment. “What happened? Where am I?” 

Victor settled for hovering awkwardly in the middle of the room. “You fell during a jump and hit your head. You were taken to the hospital in an ambulance,” Victor explained. 

Yuuri winced at Victor’s words. “I guess that does sound like something I would do.” His eyes flitted over to Victor, but only briefly, before glancing away with a blush. “Am I...dying?” 

“What?” Victor asked. “Why would you think that?” 

Yuuri looked back at him, not quite meeting his eyes. “I mean...this is a Make A Wish thing...right?” 

Victor frowned. “I don’t understand. What thing?” 

Yuuri gestured toward Victor, jostling the fluid line that he’d been hooked up to. “I just don’t understand why you’re here.” 

“Where else would I be?” The doctor had said he was disoriented, but this wasn’t what Victor expected. 

“Er...Russia?” 

Victor’s blood ran cold. “What?” He looked at Yuuri again, taking note of how his gaze shied away, and his cheeks were flushed. “Where do you think you are right now?” 

Yuuri glanced around again, his brow scrunched up. “Uh, Detroit?” He looked like he was thinking very hard. “Could you just call my coach? Not that I don’t appreciate you being here!” Yuuri said suddenly, looking up at Victor reverently. “It’s really nice of you to visit your...fans,” Yuuri said carefully, “but I don’t feel well, and my roommate is probably freaking out so I need to get ahold of my coach. Do you know him? Celestino Cialdini? He’s Italian and says ‘ciao ciao’ a lot.” 

Victor felt like he was punched in the gut. He turned away from Yuuri and opened the door so he could poke his head into the hallway and call for a nurse. She rushed over, nodding as Victor urgently requested Yuuri’s doctor. While the nurse was calling for her, Victor turned back into the room, studying Yuuri carefully.

What was he supposed to do? Yuuri was looking at him with a mixture of awe and confusion. He was looking at Victor like he’d just turned up naked at his family’s onsen again. Should he tell Yuuri? Or would that just freak him out? 

“What’s going on?” Yuuri asked weakly, tears in his eyes. He looked distraught, and it broke Victor’s heart. 

Victor made up his mind. He’d never be able to lie to Yuuri anyway. He swallowed hard and asked, “What’s the last thing you remember?” 

Yuuri frowned, thinking hard. “I’m not sure,” he admitted. “Everything’s fuzzy. I’m in my workout clothes so I must have gone to the rink, but I don’t remember walking there.” 

“You were at the rink,” Victor confirmed. “Just not the one you’re thinking of.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“I know this is going to be hard to believe, but trust me, ok?” Victor knew how Yuuri’s anxiety worked. He knew Yuuri was going to struggle to believe everything they’d accomplished together, professionally and personally. “You’re in Saint Petersburg. You haven’t lived in Detroit in years.” 

“What?” Yuuri squeaked. “Why would I move to Russia? I don’t speak any Russian! And my coach is in Detroit!” 

“Celestino isn’t your coach anymore. I am.” Victor hesitated, but then continued, “Also, we’re married.” He held up his right hand so his ring was easily visible.

Yuuri looked shocked for a few moments, then his expression got steely. “Is this your idea of a sick joke?” He scowled at Victor. “I always thought you were nice to your fans, but I guess I was wrong. Why are you messing with me? I didn’t even know you knew who I was!” 

“Yuuri—” Victor was cut off as the door opened. Yuuri’s doctor entered, looking concerned. 

“What’s going on?” She glanced between the two of them.

Victor opened his mouth to explain, but Yuuri beat him to it. “I need to call my coach. And,” he took a deep breath, “I need this man to leave.” 

Victor’s head whipped around, and the doctor looked between them with confusion. “I’m telling the truth!” Victor insisted. “We’ve been married for 2 years.” He pointed to Yuuri’s right hand, where a matching ring sat.

Yuuri followed his gaze, gasping when his eyes fell on the ring. He held his hand up, watching the gold sparkle in the light. He looked like he was struggling to process what he was seeing. 

“Mr. Katsuki-Nikiforov--” The doctor started to say something, and Yuuri’s head snapped up.

“What did you say?” He glanced back and forth between Victor and the doctor, then turned back to Victor. “You...you’re telling the truth?” His voice was quiet and strained. 

Victor nodded. “Yes. I promise I would never lie to you.” 

Disbelief was still written all over Yuuri’s face. He took a shaky breath, tears filling his eyes. Victor could see the early signs of a panic attack brewing. Yuuri was clenching his blanket tightly, his muscles tense. Victor moved on instinct, rushing to Yuuri’s side. He didn’t hesitate, kneeling next to the bed and grabbing Yuuri’s hand. 

“Breathe with me Yuuri. Match my breathing.” To Victor’s relief, Yuuri imitated his breathing pattern. “That’s it. Now, can you tell me five things you see?” 

Yuuri took a harsh breath. “Chair. Door. Window. Blanket.” He glanced toward Victor. “You.” 

Victor squeezed Yuuri’s hand, taking him through the grounding exercises Victor had become intimately familiar with during their years together. He was able to calm Yuuri down, but Yuuri seemed embarrassed and ripped his hand out of Victor’s as soon as his breathing was back to normal. Victor tried not to feel hurt by Yuuri’s dismissal. After all, Yuuri probably didn’t know him. He seemed to know  _ of _ him, but that wasn’t the same. 

Without meeting Victor’s eyes, Yuuri swallowed hard and whispered, “I guess you really do know me.” 

“And you know me,” Victor replied, just as softly. “Better than anyone.” 

Yuuri gripped at his blankets, tears in his eyes. He still refused to look at Victor, and Victor didn’t know what to say. He was saved from any further explanation by a throat clearing behind them. Both Yuuri and Victor jumped, having forgotten they weren’t alone in the room. They both turned.

The doctor looked apologetic as she spoke. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but I think we have a few things to discuss.” 

Yuuri nodded numbly, then started answering questions as the doctor scribbled notes on a piece of paper. Victor listened, but the conversation felt far away. He was struggling to process this as much as Yuuri was. All he wanted to do was hold his husband, but Yuuri was still flinching away every time Victor reached out. 

Yuuri was struggling to pinpoint exactly what his last clear memory was, but he seemed to have lost everything from before his first GPF. He didn’t even remember that he’d qualified, his jaw dropping when Victor told him. 

“I qualified for the Grand Prix Finals?” Yuuri questioned in disbelief. 

“Multiple times,” Victor expanded.

“Are you  _ sure _ this isn’t a prank?” 

“I can prove it to you, another time. Right now, if you’re up for it, we should call your family,” Victor reasoned. “They’re worried sick.” 

Yuuri nodded in agreement. He thanked the doctor, who finally took her leave after scribbling down a few more notes. The two of them were alone again. Yuuri fidgeted, then glanced around with a frown.

“I’m not sure where my phone is.” 

“Oh.” Victor pulled his own phone out. “You can use mine. Yours is probably still at the rink.” He opened his contacts, calling his in-laws without a second thought. The phone rang twice before being picked up.

“Vicchan! Is everything ok? How’s Yuuri?” Hiroko’s worried voice sounded through the speakers. 

“He’s ok.” Victor swallowed hard. He wasn’t  _ completely _ ok, but he should probably leave it to Yuuri to tell his family what was going on. “He’s actually awake if you want to speak with him.” 

“Of course! Are you alright too? You sound upset.” 

Victor almost laughed at the question. “I’m ok, mama. Just processing.” 

Yuuri made a surprised noise, probably because Victor just called his mother “mama”. It must be strange for him to hear. 

“Hm.” She didn’t sound convinced. “Call us anytime if you need anything. We’re still looking into plane tickets.” 

“Alright. Let me know if you decide to fly out.” He glanced up at Yuuri, who was looking impatient. “I’ll hand you over to Yuuri, I think he’d really like to hear your voice.” 

“Ok, Vicchan. We all love both of you very much.” 

“Love you too,” Victor replied, before handing the phone to Yuuri. 

Yuuri took the phone from Victor, looking completely overwhelmed. He took a breath, before greeting his mother in Japanese. Victor heard him answering questions, trying to calm his mother down. Victor got the feeling that Yuuri had no idea he could understand what was being said. He would have no way of knowing that Victor was (virtually) fluent, so Victor felt like he was eavesdropping. It felt wrong to listen, even if he knew that  _ his _ Yuuri wouldn’t mind.

Victor shook his head. He shouldn’t think like that. This was still his Yuuri, and he should just be grateful that he had his husband back at all. 

After mouthing that he would give Yuuri some space, he exited the room, his calm facade melting away as soon as he stepped out the door. He buried his face in his hands, taking shaky breaths. Yuuri didn’t know him. His husband had no memory of their life together. Victor’s hands curled into fists, and he hit the wall hard enough that it hurt. It wasn’t fair! He had lost his memory from  _ just before _ he met Victor. Everything they’d done together, everything they’d built was taken away in a second. Victor felt guilty for being bitter about the fact that Yuuri probably remembered just about everyone else that was important in his life. His family. Phichit. The Nishigoris. Minako. He even knew Celestino, but he didn’t know his own husband! Tears ran down Victor’s cheeks, pattering softly on the floor. 

A hand squeezed Victor’s shoulder, startling him. He looked up and into the eyes of his old coach. Despite the harsh lines of his face, Yakov wore a gentle expression. Mila and Yuri were hovering behind him, along with a handful of other skaters from the rink. Even Georgi had shown up, despite the fact that he was retired and had been at home with his new girlfriend. 

“Yura said he was awake?” Yakov questioned. 

Victor nodded. “He is.” He swallowed hard. “There were...complications.” 

Yuri pushed his way past Yakov. “What do you mean?” 

There was no sense in sugarcoating it. “He doesn’t know me.”

“The fuck does that mean?” Yuri questioned.

“He has memory loss,” Victor continued. “Yuuri doesn’t remember meeting me. Or living with me. Or skating with me.”  _ Or loving me _ , he thought to himself. 

“What  _ does _ he remember?” Yuri asked quietly. Victor heard the silent question;  _ does he remember me? _

“We haven’t been able to pinpoint an exact date, but he seems to have lost the past 3 years.” 

Yuri swore, and Yakov chastised him lightly. “The important thing is that he’s alright.” 

Victor nodded in agreement. “Yes.” He looked up at the group of rinkmates and friends that had come to show Yuuri their love and support. It made him smile, despite the tears still gathering in his eyes. “Thank you all so much for coming. It means a lot. But,” he said carefully, “Yuuri is already very overwhelmed. I think it would be best to hold off on visitors right now.” 

“I agree,” Yakov replied, quieting a few of the younger skaters who were protesting. “Why don’t you leave your gifts with Vitya and we can work out a visitation schedule when Yuuri is feeling better?” 

Some of the younger skaters stepped forward, passing flowers, chocolate, and trinkets into Victor’s hands. Victor nodded gratefully, thanking all of them and offering to pass on their well-wishes. Once his arms were full of gifts, Yakov started shooing the group back toward the lobby. It was just in time, as a few of the hospital staff were grumbling about the hallway being blocked. Georgi took over herding the group, leaving Yakov behind with Victor. Mila and Yuri remained as well, hovering awkwardly in front of them. 

“He really doesn’t remember us?” Mila questioned, a heavy frown on her face. 

“No,” Victor confirmed. Out of all the other skaters at the rink, Yuuri was closest with Mila and Yuri. They’d become quite close since Yuuri moved in with Victor, so he knew they must both be taking Yuuri’s injury hard. 

“This is all my fault!” Yuri declared, clenching his fists. “If I hadn’t pushed him to help me with my stupid quad flip then he wouldn’t have fallen!” Yakov put a hand on Yuri’s shoulder, but the teen pushed it away. 

“It was an accident,” Victor insisted. “He’s landed that jump so many times, and even when he didn’t, he’s never fallen like that. Yuuri wouldn’t want you blaming yourself.” 

Yuri glared at Victor. “How do you know what he wants? He doesn’t even know me! He doesn’t know any of us!” 

Through all of their years training together, Victor had become well acquainted with Yuri’s temper-tantrums. They were not nearly as common as they used to be, but Victor was still not even remotely phased by Yuri’s outburst. “Yuuri is still Yuuri. He would never want someone to blame themselves for an unfortunate accident.”

Undeterred, Yuri scowled and crossed his arms. “You don’t know that. You didn’t know him 3 years ago. How do you know if  _ that _ Yuuri wants anything to do with us?”

“Because--” 

Yuri didn’t let him respond. He was too busy working himself up into a rage. “How do you know if he wants anything to do with  _ you _ ?” 

Victor felt like he’d been punched in the gut. He hadn’t considered that Yuuri might not be interested in continuing their relationship, but it wasn’t an unreasonable question. Sure, Yuuri admired him, but that didn’t mean he’d want to be Victor’s husband. It wasn’t like Yuuri had been ready to jump into a relationship the first time they’d met. Maybe this time he’d get a taste of how different Victor was from his media persona and dump him. Yuuri was probably expecting a suave, charming, charismatic, champion, not a clingy, dog-obsessed, stubborn, drama queen. 

Yakov was red in the face, preparing to scream at Yuri for being insensitive, but Yuri already looked like he’d been yelled at. His expression had changed from enraged to looking like a kicked puppy. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.” 

If it was any other scenario, Victor would have marveled at how mature Yuri had become. The fact that he was willingly admitting that he was sorry for something was remarkable. But the damage had already been done, and Victor couldn’t get the words out of his head. 

“Vitya’s right,” Mila stated suddenly. “Yuuri is still Yuuri. He might not remember us, but he’s still our friend. We know him.” 

Victor smiled gratefully, but he knew it didn’t reach his eyes. He nodded in agreement, because he was still too frazzled to form words. 

“Tell us what you need,” Yakov offered. “We’ll be here for you.” 

Yuri mumbled in agreement, looking embarrassed about his outburst. He wouldn’t meet Victor’s eyes. Victor wanted to tell him that he wasn’t mad, that he understood that Yuri was just scared, but he couldn’t. All he wanted was to curl up with his husband and their dog and let Yuuri kiss his worries away. But that wasn’t an option.

“Thank you. Right now, I think Yuuri and I just need some space to talk.” Victor wasn’t sure if Yuuri was done talking to his family, but he needed to see him. He needed to know that everything was going to be alright. 

Yakov clasped Victor’s shoulder again, squeezing gently. Mila hugged Victor so tightly that she almost knocked all of the gifts out of his arms. Yuri still looked uncomfortable, so he offered Victor a curt nod, before turning away and retreating down the hall. Yakov and Mila said their goodbyes, then followed the teen. 

Victor sighed as he was left alone again. He rearranged the items in his arms, then returned to Yuuri’s door. Victor managed to balance all the gifts in his arms so he had a free hand, and he was just reaching out to the handle when he realized that Yuuri might not appreciate a virtual stranger barging in unannounced. Victor couldn’t hear Yuuri on the phone on the other side of the door, so he knocked, and waited for a response. There was a quiet “come in” muffled through the door in response. After another adjustment of all the items he was carrying, Victor tentatively pushed the door open. 

Yuuri was sitting up in bed, looking at Victor’s phone with a curious expression. His brow was furrowed, and he was completely focused on whatever was on Victor’s phone screen. Victor entered the room, setting the gifts down on the table next to the bed. Yuuri startled a little as Victor accidentally dropped a box of chocolates on the floor. Fortunately, the box was closed, but Victor wondered if the contents might be a little mixed up. He picked up the box and set it on the table with the other gifts, which included an assortment of chocolates and candies. There were also a few cards, one that looked professionally made, and a few others that were probably drawn by some of the novice skaters. Someone had even sent along a stuffed poodle wearing a bowtie. 

“What’s all this?” Yuuri asked, scanning the mess that Victor was trying to organize.

“Gifts from our rinkmates. They’re all worried about you.” Victor offered Yuuri the stuffed poodle.

Yuuri accepted the dog, frowning as he grabbed it. “I feel bad. I don’t remember any of them.” 

“It’s not your fault,” Victor insisted. 

Yuuri shrugged. “I fell during a jump, right? Sounds like my fault. If I was a better skater, I wouldn’t have fallen.” 

Victor’s heart sank. “It was an accident. Everyone falls sometimes.”

“You don’t,” Yuuri muttered. 

Victor almost laughed.  _ Of course _ he fell. Yuuri had seen him fall on his ass plenty of times, but he obviously wouldn’t remember that. “Even me. You’ve seen it happen.” 

Yuuri didn’t say anything in response, looking unsure. He turned to Victor suddenly. “Oh! Here’s your phone. Thank you for letting me borrow it.” He held the phone out to Victor, almost dropping it when Victor reached out to grab it and their fingers brushed. “I was, uh, just noticing your background.” 

“Oh.” Victor’s phone background, of course, was Yuuri. Yuuri and Makkachin, to be exact. The two of them had fallen asleep on the couch together and Victor just had to take a picture. It was adorable; one of Makka’s ears was flopped over on Yuuri’s face, and Yuuri had just a little bit of drool visible on his chin. “Does it bother you?”

“No,” Yuuri insisted. “It’s just kind of unreal.” He blushed. “I don’t know how to process all this.”

“To be honest, neither do I,” Victor agreed.

Yuuri’s gaze snapped over to him, surprised. “Really?”

“Really. I have no idea what to do. I have no idea what  _ we  _ should do.” 

Yuuri fidgeted nervously. “We…” he sounded awestruck. 

“We,” Victor confirmed. “I’ll be with you every step of the way.” Victor intended the statement to be comforting, but Yuuri looked uncomfortable. It made sense, considering he was basically a stranger to Yuuri. “I could tell you a little about us, if you want? Maybe show you some pictures?” He picked up his phone, opening his photo album to show Yuuri.

“Um, maybe later,” Yuuri replied awkwardly. 

Victor froze. “Oh. Of course.” He tried to not let the disappointment show on his face, plastering his best media smile on. It made him feel worse, because Yuuri would always see through that horrible, fake smile in a second. Yuuri should know that he was upset. But he didn’t. 

“I should go back to Hasetsu,” Yuuri said suddenly. 

Swallowing hard against the lump forming in his throat, Victor replied, “If that’s what you think is best.” He tried to keep himself calm. Just because Yuuri wanted to go back to Hasetsu didn’t mean he didn’t want Victor. It made sense that he would want to be back somewhere familiar. Yuuri wouldn’t be able to speak or read Russian. He wouldn’t know anyone in the city. It would be like when he moved here all over again, except this time, he’d feel totally alone. 

“It is,” Yuuri insisted. “I tried to buy a plane ticket on your phone, but I guess my credit card is different now too because the number didn’t work.” 

“Makka ate it,” Victor admitted sheepishly. “Oh, Makka is our dog. Makkachin.” He had a feeling Yuuri probably knew Makkachin, since she had featured in most of Victor’s off-ice photoshoots since he was a teen, but he wanted to make sure. “I can order tickets for us as soon as the doctor clears you for travel.” 

“Uh.” Yuuri shifted uncomfortably. “I, er, I figured I’d go alone.” 

Those words made Victor think he felt his heart break. “What? Why?” 

Yuuri was staring intently at his new stuffed poodle, refusing to look at Victor. “I don’t want to interrupt your training.” 

“Training? First of all, I’m retired. But even if I wasn’t, screw my training,” Victor said resolutely. “You’re more important.” 

Of all Victor’s words, Yuuri only seemed to fixate on the first statement. “Retired?! You can’t be retired!” He looked legitimately distressed, possibly more than when Yuuri found out he’d lost his memory. 

“I am,” Victor confirmed. “I had a great career, but it’s time to step back. I want to focus on coaching, and I want to give my body a break. Besides, I’d rather end on a high note than keep skating until I can barely limp onto the podium.” 

Yuuri was contemplative for a few moments, then let out a heavy sigh. “You skating has always been a constant in my life. I guess...I guess it’s just one more change I need to get used to.” He glanced back at Victor. “It was a good season, then?” 

Victor nodded. “Yeah. One of the most fun that I’ve had. I felt like I could really let loose since I didn’t have to worry about next season.” 

“More gold medals, then?” 

“A few,” Victor confirmed. “Some silver, too.” 

“What?!” Yuuri looked utterly shocked. “But who could have beaten  _ you _ ?!” 

Maybe Victor should have been taking the conversation more seriously, but the look of shock that Victor was expecting from his explanation was just too good. It had him smirking, which left Yuuri looking even more surprised and confused. “You.” 

“You’re lying.” Yuuri shook his head in disbelief. 

Without saying a word, Victor opened his photo album and selected a picture that Yuri had taken of the two of them at Worlds. They had their arms around each other, grinning at the camera and showing off their respective medals; gold for Yuuri, silver for Victor. It wasn’t the first time Yuuri had outscored him, but they had both been fighting particularly hard that day. With it being Victor’s last season, they had been determined to out-do each other at every opportunity. Playfully, of course. Victor honestly wasn’t sure if it was more enjoyable for him or for Yuuri to win gold. Both had their perks. 

“Holy shit,” Yuuri replied eloquently, his jaw practically on the floor. “Maybe...maybe I do want to hear about us.”

Victor sighed in relief, smiling genuinely for the first time since Yuuri had fallen. “Of course!” He grinned. “Do you want to start with the story about getting blackout drunk in Sochi, or when I showed up naked at the onsen?” 

“What?!” 

\------------------------

Victor took a deep breath as he guided Yuuri toward the door to their apartment. Of all the things to be nervous about, showing Yuuri their shared living space seemed silly, but Victor found himself stressing over every little detail. Every new experience was an opportunity for Yuuri to decide he didn’t want Victor. Their apartment used to be just Victor’s apartment and while Yuuri had added his own personal touches, there were still plenty of traces from Victor’s bachelor life. He’d been nervous the first time he’d introduced Yuuri to his apartment but at least that time he knew Yuuri loved him and wanted to be with him. Now, he didn’t have that guarantee. 

As Victor guided them both to a halt in front of the door, he gestured clumsily, gulping down nerves. “Well, here we are.” 

Yuuri smiled awkwardly, looking between Victor and the door expectantly. 

“Oh! Sorry.” Victor almost dropped his key as he fumbled with the lock. It was ridiculous that he was so flustered. He was Victor Fucking Katsuki-Nikiforov, after all! He could handle bringing his husband home to their apartment. 

The lock clicked and the door opened, swinging inward. Victor gestured for Yuuri to go first, then closed the door once they were both inside. Yuuri was glancing around curiously, trying, and failing, not to gape at pictures of Yuuri and Victor that were hanging on the wall. Yuuri stepped forward, gently touching a picture of the two of them on their wedding day. They were kissing passionately at the altar, both of them wearing their own stylish western-style tux. Yuuri moved on to the next picture, which was also from their wedding day, except they were both wearing traditional Japanese wedding attire. 

“You wanted to do both,” Victor explained. “A traditional wedding, and a western-style wedding. We had them both in Hasetsu.” 

Yuuri’s nose wrinkled, like it always did when he was thinking, then he kept moving down the line. “What’s this one?” He pointed to a photo of the two of them on the beach, holding hands in front of a colorful sunset.

“Our honeymoon. The first one.”

Yuuri raised an eyebrow. “First one?” 

Victor grinned. “Oh, yes! We have a honeymoon every year!” 

“You mean a vacation?” Yuuri asked doubtfully.

“Nope! They’re all honeymoons. Because we said so,” Victor insisted. 

Yuuri chuckled, and Victor’s heart warmed at the sound. He kept glancing at the photos, occasionally making comments or asking questions. Yuuri was trying to hide his emotions, but Victor could see him getting overwhelmed. Victor was about to suggest moving on, when Yuuri pointed at the last picture in the row, his eyebrows furrowed. 

“What’s this one? Isn’t that your costume I’m wearing?” 

“Hm?” Victor looked where Yuuri was pointing. It was one of their first photos together, taken just following Yuuri’s victory at Onsen on Ice. Yuuri was wearing his Eros costume, his cheeks reddened from Victor’s close proximity. Victor loved this picture, because despite Yuuri’s obvious nervousness, there was a spark of determination and pride written on his face. “Oh, you wore one of my costumes for our first season together. This was right after you skated against Yuri Plisetsky to keep me in Hasetsu.”

Yuuri turned to him, blinking in confusion. “I did what?” He thought for a moment. “Isn’t Yuri one of the teenagers that came to visit? Why were me and a teenager fighting over you?” 

That was a lot of backstory to cover, and Yuuri hadn’t been quite comfortable hearing that much about them since his injury. “It’s a long story, are you up for it?” 

Yuuri bit his lip. “Maybe not right now, actually.” 

Victor nodded solemnly, but perked up as he heard quiet clinking approaching them. Makka was lumbering toward them, her tail wagging lazily. It had taken a while for her to hear them, but now that she knew they were there, she wanted to be included in whatever they were doing. Once Makka got closer, she spotted Yuuri, and became visibly excited. Her tail wagged faster, and she bounded over to Yuuri with far more energy than expected for her age. She hadn’t seen him in a few days, and clearly she had been just as worried as Victor.

Despite not remembering Makka, Yuuri was a dog person, so he knelt down immediately to greet the old poodle. Makka started licking his face, and Yuuri laughed freely, half-heartedly pushing her face away. 

Victor couldn’t help but smile at the display. “She missed you.” 

Yuuri was still giggling, scratching Makka behind her ears. “She’s wonderful. What a sweetheart.” 

“She’s the best,” Victor confirmed. He tried not to be jealous that his dog was getting more affection than he was. 

Humming in agreement, Yuuri stood up, offering Makka one last pat. She sniffed Yuuri all over, huffing in displeasure at the hospital smell. Yuuri was glancing around the apartment again, looking simultaneously curious and unsure.

“How about a tour?” Victor offered. 

“Ok.” 

Victor gestured for Yuuri to follow him. Makka padded happily beside them, only looking a little stiff. “It’s not much, but we’ve made it a home,” Victor explained. “You picked out that couch because you hated my old one.” He gestured to the sofa in the middle of the living room. 

Yuuri groaned. “I can’t believe I made you get rid of your own stuff. You must think I’m so rude.” 

Shaking his head, Victor replied, “Not at all. We share this space, we both deserve to be comfortable. Besides,” he added, “this one is way better for cuddling.” The comment was supposed to lighten the mood, but it just left Yuuri blushing and stuttering awkwardly. Victor decided not to let him stew in his insecurity. He gestured for Yuuri to follow him again, leading him to the kitchen.

“This is the kitchen, obviously. Most of the spices and small appliances are yours. I’m not very good at cooking,” Victor admitted. “Although, your mom says I’m getting pretty good at making katsudon.” 

Yuuri turned to him, surprised. “My mom showed you how to make katsudon?” 

“Of course, it’s your favorite.” 

He furrowed his eyebrows. “She never shows anyone that recipe. Only family.” 

“Well…” Victor replied awkwardly. He didn’t know how to respond to the implication that he wasn’t family. The Katsukis had all but adopted him from the moment he arrived unannounced in Hasetsu, especially Hiroko. She had helped him gain at least a few meager cooking skills, secretly showing him Yuuri’s favorite recipes and on occasion, pictures of baby Yuuri enjoying said recipes. Yuuri still didn’t know about the latter. 

Yuuri’s eyes widened as he realized what he said. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean that.” He shook his head. “Ugh, I’m such a mess. I don’t know why you married me.” 

Victor reached out and tentatively grabbed one of Yuuri’s hands. Yuuri startled, but didn’t pull away. “I married you because you understand me in a way that no one else can. You make me a better person, and you make my life brighter. This place wasn’t a home until you moved in.” 

At the declaration, Yuuri pulled his hand away, looking down at his feet. “Can I see the rest of the apartment?” 

Victor swallowed hard and forced a smile on his face. “Ah. Of course. Right this way.” He didn’t wait for Yuuri to respond, turning away so his face was hidden. He didn’t want Yuuri to see how hard he was fighting to keep his expression neutral. Not that  _ this _ Yuuri would likely even notice…

“The bedrooms are down here, and one of the bathrooms.” He pointed down the hall. “That’s the guest room, it’s mostly storage. Yuri keeps some things in there too because he’s over here so often.” 

“Teenage Yuri?” 

“Yes.” 

“Why does he come over here so much?”

Victor didn’t really want to explain Yuri’s complicated family dynamics or the almost familial bond that the three of them had developed, so he just smiled and replied, “He likes your cooking. And he lives with Yakov and Lilia, so he needs a break sometimes.” 

“I see.” Yuuri didn’t dwell on the conversation. 

Victor took that as his cue to resume the tour. “This is our bedroom. The master bathroom is in here as well.” Victor gestured to the open door. Makkachin was already in the room, returning to her favorite dog bed. She had steps to help her up to their bed, but even those were a little much for her now. 

“Our bedroom,” Yuuri repeated, sounding equal parts terrified and thrilled. 

The two of them stepped inside, and Yuuri took in their surroundings. He skimmed over more photographs of the two of them, as well as some of their friends and family. His eyes stopped on their medal display, which was almost glowing in the afternoon sun. Yuuri walked over to the display, a look of awe on his face. 

“Wow.” Yuuri tentatively reached up and touched the newest, shiniest gold medal. “I can’t believe how many you have.” 

“Well,” Victor explained, “that one’s yours. All of the ones on the left are yours, actually.” 

Yuuri stopped touching the medal and backed away like it had burned him. “You’re joking.” 

“Nope. There’s more in the closet too; we couldn’t fit all of them,” Victor continued. “They call us a ‘power couple’,” he boasted.

“I think I need to sit down.” Yuuri murmured, looking a little pale. 

Victor rushed over, helping Yuuri find his way back to the bed so he could sit down. Yuuri breathed deeply, his hands clenched in his lap as he stared blankly ahead. Victor thought about rubbing his back, but decided against it. Yuuri hadn’t been particularly comfortable with physical contact when they first met and it seemed that he felt the same way again. So instead of offering his husband comfort, Victor called Makka, gesturing for her to go check on Yuuri. She complied, standing up stiffly and padding over to Yuuri. She put her head in his lap, her tail waving slowly. Yuuri smiled, running his fingers through Makka’s soft curls. 

“I’m sorry I keep freaking out. It’s just…” Yuuri seemed hesitant to say what was on his mind, but he ultimately continued. “I’ve admired you for so long. I never thought I’d even be good enough to meet you, let alone marry you. And now I’m finding out we have this fairy tale romance and I have this crazy successful skating career and it’s just...a lot.”

Victor nodded in understanding. “Your life has changed a lot in the past few years. I’m sure it’s a lot to take in.” 

“It is,” Yuuri agreed. “I really appreciate everything you’re doing for me. Are you sure you wouldn’t rather have me stay at a hotel?”

“Of course not. This is your home too,” Victor insisted. He knew it was just Yuuri’s anxiety talking, but he couldn’t help the prickle of irritation he felt. Did Yuuri think he was so shallow that he would kick out his own husband in his time of need? 

“I know, but I’m causing you so much trouble! I’m making you pay for plane tickets, and I’m disrupting your schedule, and--”

“Yuuri.” Victor held a hand up. “First of all, we have a joint bank account, if that makes you feel any better. And you’re not causing me trouble. You suffered a head injury, it’s not your fault.”

“Except it is--”

“I said it’s fine!” Victor snapped. He immediately felt guilty for getting upset. Normally he knew how to handle Yuuri’s anxiety, but his emotions were already so frayed that he didn’t have any patience left. “I’m sorry. I think we’ve both had a hard few days.” 

Yuuri nodded. “Yeah. I think I’d like to lay down for a while.” 

Victor took a few deep, calming breaths. “Alright.” He was about to leave the room so Yuuri could rest, but Yuuri stood up suddenly.

“I’m going to take the guest bedroom, if that’s alright.” 

It crossed Victor’s mind to argue and tell Yuuri he should take the master bedroom, but it was probably a useless endeavor. Yuuri would insist that he didn’t want to inconvenience Victor and it wasn’t worth the argument. “Sure thing. The bathroom is fully stocked and I’ll be right down the hall if you need me.” 

With a final nod, Yuuri turned and left the room. Makka looked between her two owners but ultimately followed Yuuri. Victor didn’t blame her; he wished he could follow Yuuri too. It was tempting to pick up a pillow and scream, but Victor didn’t think he even had the energy for that. He’d been in and out of the hospital so many times in the past 36 or so hours and he felt absolutely drained. At least they didn’t make Yuuri stay more than 1 night since he was stable. Still, Victor had found himself kept busy talking to their friends and relatives, buying last minute plane tickets, and finding time for Makka. Yuri offered to check on her, but Victor wanted to do it himself. She was an old dog, and he didn’t want to lose any time with her. 

And of course without Yuuri, Victor hadn’t slept. He had tossed and turned all night, wondering what would become of their relationship. Victor fell back onto the bed with a huff, his back bouncing on the mattress. He stared up at the ceiling, sighing pathetically. He should probably take a nap, but for how tired he was, his mind was still buzzing. They had a few days before they were due to return to Hasetsu because Yuuri had insisted he didn’t want Victor to spend the premium it would cost to leave immediately. Victor had agreed to his request, since he didn’t think a few days would make a difference, but now Victor found himself wishing they were already on their way. Maybe then he’d be spared from this horrible awkwardness.

Victor was content to stew in his misery, but he was interrupted by a knock on the apartment door. He frowned, not expecting visitors. The person on the other side of the door knocked again, more insistently. Reluctantly, Victor stood up, dragging himself toward the door. Now that he had the chance to lay down for a while, his exhaustion was really catching up with him.

After the third set of increasingly loud knocks, Victor started mumbling irritably. He was wondering who could possibly be this insistent about seeing them right now, but when he opened the door, he wasn’t surprised at all.

“Ah Yura, what a pleasant surprise.” 

Yuri’s fist was still raised in the air, like he was ready to knock. He quickly lowered his hand, looking embarrassed. He’d been strategically avoiding Victor since his outburst the other day. “I brought a present for Katsudon,” Yuri admitted, holding up a paper bag.

Victor smiled. “How thoughtful, I’m sure he’ll love it.” He gestured for Yuri to come in, and the teen complied. 

“How is he?” Yuri questioned, kicking his shoes off and making himself at home. He dropped the paper bag on the kitchen counter, then plopped down on the couch. Victor followed him into the living room, sitting down in a lounge chair across from him.

Victor sighed heavily. “Still processing. He’s been pretty overwhelmed.” 

“Yeah, well, not surprising. Hopefully going home will help,” Yuri reasoned, kicking at a tuft of Makka’s fur on the carpet.

Victor wanted to argue that Yuuri  _ was  _ home, but he knew what Yuri meant. His familiar home, with his family and friends that he still knew. Not a stranger in a foreign country who kept saying the wrong thing. “Hopefully,” Victor repeated half-heartedly. 

Yuri tsked at him. “Come on, old man. Quit moping so much! It’s pathetic. You and Katsudon will be fine, you’re disgustingly obsessed with each other.” 

Now  _ that _ sounded like the old Yuri. It was familiar enough that it made Victor smile. He knew Yuri cared, otherwise he wouldn’t be here. Despite how much he’d matured, Yuri still liked to hide affection inside insults. “I really hope you’re right.” 

Before Yuri could respond, they both turned their heads at the sound of tags jingling in the hallway. Makkachin was ambling toward them, her tail wagging happily. She smothered Yuri in affection, licking him and nuzzling his hands. Yuri protested, like he always did, claiming that he was only a cat person, but Victor didn’t miss how he snuck the poodle a special treat from his pocket. 

“Victor, I was wondering--oh.” Yuuri had padded down the hall after Makka, and was looking at Yuri with a mixture of surprise and confusion. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“You’re not interrupting at all. You can join us if you’d like,” Victor offered, smiling gently.

Yuuri shifted uncomfortably. “I just came out here because I thought Makkachin needed to go out, but I guess she was just excited about the company.” 

Victor could tell he was feeling conflicted. On one hand, Yuuri seemed like he wanted to run back and hide in his room. On the other hand, he was trying to be polite and not turn down Victor’s invitation. 

Yuri groaned impatiently. “Just sit down, will you? I brought you something.” He stood up, fetching the paper bag from the counter. Makka followed closely behind him, her nose twitching in interest. Yuri tossed the bag at Yuuri, who barely managed to catch it.

“What’s this?” 

Yuri returned to his spot on the couch. Makka was now making her way to Yuuri, still trying to sniff out what was in the bag. “Quit asking questions and open it!” 

Since Yuuri was no longer used to Yuri’s aggressive affection, he seemed startled, but he did as Yuri said. The bag crinkled, making Makka’s ears perk. Yuuri dug around in the bag and pulled out a fried bun. Yuri was looking at him expectantly, so Yuuri took a bite. His eyes widened. 

“Oh! They’re filled.” He took another bite. “It’s familiar...like...like…” Yuuri thought for a moment, before a look of comprehension crossed his face. “There’s katsudon in this!” 

Yuri looked pleased. “This is my grandpa’s katsudon pirozhki recipe!” He boasted. “I made them myself!” 

“Wow, this is really good,” Yuuri complimented, moaning happily at the taste. 

“Of course it is. I told you it was my grandpa’s recipe!” Yuri was clearly proud of the compliments, but he still had an expectant look on his face. 

Yuuri seemed to pick up on it, because he was glancing back and forth between Victor and Yuri in confusion. Victor shrugged, but Yuri was leaning forward. “Does it remind you of anything?” Yuri prompted. 

“Uh,” Yuuri started, looking unsure, “I mean it reminds me of my mother’s recipe. It’s not quite the same but there are some similarities.” 

“Anything else? Any _ one _ else?” 

Yuuri was starting to look uncomfortable, so Victor put an end to the conversation. “That’s enough.” He shot Yuri a stern look, and the teen just glowered at him in return.

Thankfully, Yuuri didn’t seem to quite understand what Yuri had been trying to do. He smiled gratefully, trying to lighten the mood. “I really appreciate you bringing these to me. Thank you, Yuri.” 

Yuri flinched at Yuuri’s formal politeness. “Yeah, well, I hope you feel better.” He looked like he was debating with himself for a few moments, before he sighed and added, “Call me Yurio.” 

“Yurio?” 

Yuri nodded, but he was shooting angry glances at Victor, who couldn’t help but grin in delight. “Yeah. You, and  _ only you _ , can call me Yurio.” 

“Ok. Then thank you, Yurio.” 

“Yeah, thank you Yurio,” Victor added, unable to help himself. He always knew that Yuri secretly liked that nickname. 

Yuri jabbed a finger at him. “That offer wasn’t extended to you, you stupid geezer!” 

Yuuri gasped, looking offended at the teen’s name calling. But Victor was just laughing gleefully, knowing Yuri’s anger didn’t hold any real malice. “Oh Yurio, you’re so thoughtful!” 

“Ugh, I’m never doing anything nice for either of you two ever again!” 

Yuuri seemed to have finally caught on to the light atmosphere in the room, and he started giggling. Victor smiled at the sound, and he noticed Yuri was fighting back a smile of his own. With all of the tension gone, Yuuri seemed comfortable enough to join Victor and Yuri in the living room. He sat down on the opposite end of the couch, facing toward Victor. Yuuri kept nibbling on his katsudon pirozhki, and eventually offered to split the other ones with Yuri and Victor. Predictably, Yuri put up a fight about letting Victor have any of the food he’d made, but Victor didn’t mind. He just took a bite off of Yuuri’s when his head was turned. The action left Yuuri completely flustered, and Yuri rolling his eyes. 

“So, are you going to keep skating, or what?” Yuri asked between a mouthful of food.

Victor was about to interrupt and tell Yuri they hadn’t talked about it yet, but to his surprise, Yuuri nodded. “Yeah. I thought about it a lot while I was at the hospital, and I want to get back on the ice as soon as possible. I feel like I’ve lost time, and I don’t want to lose anymore.” 

“Good,” Yuri replied with a nod. “You need to be on the ice this season so I can take back the medal that’s rightfully mine!” 

Yuuri smiled shyly at the banter. “I hope I can give you a good fight.” 

“Of course you will!” Victor interjected. “What kind of coach would I be if I didn’t prepare you to defend your title?” 

Yuuri shifted uncomfortably. “Oh, I, uh…” he stuttered, glancing nervously between Victor and Yuri. “I was actually planning on working with Celestino. He said there’s room for me at Phichit’s rink in Bangkok.” 

Victor was ready to protest, but Yuri beat him to it. “Are you serious? You skated like shit under Celestino!” 

Yuuri winced. “I had some bad skates, but he’s a good coach.” He turned to Victor, who was struggling to find words. “It’s not that I don’t appreciate everything you’ve done, it’s just…” he thought hard, trying to pick his words carefully. “I can’t read or understand anything here, and I don’t know anyone. And there’s a lot of skills I’m going to have to relearn. I don’t need to inconvenience you with all that.” 

Once again, Yuri got the first word in. “Inconvenience? This idiot,” he jabbed a finger at Victor, “worships the ground you walk on! You can’t leave!” 

Despite feeling blindsided by Yuuri’s decision, Victor managed to find his voice. “If that’s what you think is best,” he muttered bitterly.

Yuri turned on him. “You can’t be serious. Don’t roll over and pretend you’re ok with this!” 

Victor was definitely not ok with it, but this wasn’t the time to get into it. He was barely holding it together already. If Yuuri didn’t want Victor to coach him, what did that mean for their relationship? Was Yuuri running away to Thailand so he could end their relationship as well? “This is between Yuuri and I,” Victor finally managed to reply. 

Yuri tried to protest. “You can’t--” 

Victor smiled sharply. “Ah, Yurio, we’ve had such a long and tiring day, I think Yuuri and I are ready to retire for the evening.” He felt a little bad about kicking the teen out, but Yuri’s rage was the last thing he needed right now.

Yuri narrowed his eyes. “Fine. Be that way.” He stood up, muttering disapprovingly and stomping over to the door. He looked like he was about to slam it, but at the last second he turned back and looked at Yuuri sadly. 

Yuuri was fidgeting nervously, but caught Yuri’s stare. He smiled awkwardly. “Um. Thanks again, Yurio. The food was delicious.” 

The tiniest smile crossed Yuri’s face for a moment before his face fell again. “Yeah, well, I hope you feel better.” He didn’t look back as he showed himself out. 

As soon as the door closed, Yuuri sighed in exhaustion. “He seems like a nice kid,” he commented, sounding completely worn out. It was obvious that Yuuri was trying to change the subject.

“He is,” Victor agreed, going along with it. “In his own way. Though I keep forgetting he really isn’t much of a kid anymore.” 

“It was nice of him to come by. And that food was so good.” 

“Mhm. Yuri has a hard time talking about his feelings, but he really does care for you,” Victor explained. 

Yuuri hummed in contemplation, patting his knees absentmindedly. “Seems like I have a good life here,” he murmured, staring past Victor.

Victor nodded. “You seemed happy.”  _ You seemed happy with me _ , he thought. “There are a lot of people who love you. Here, in Hasetsu, and around the world.” 

“I wish I could remember all of them.” Yuuri turned to look at Victor, smiling sadly. “I wish I could remember you.” 

“Me too,” Victor admitted, his heart hurting. “But we’ll get through this. I’m here for you, no matter what.” He meant it. Even if Yuuri flew halfway around the world, Victor would still be there for him, if Yuuri would let him.

“I just...I still can’t believe it. That out of everyone in the world, you picked me.” 

“We picked each other,” Victor corrected. 

Yuuri sighed. “If you say so.” He stood up, his expression closing off. “I think I’m ready to pass out. Goodnight, Victor.” 

A few days ago, it would have been “goodnight Vitya”, followed by a kiss, and then they’d both curl up together in their bed. Victor would nuzzle into Yuuri’s neck, and Yuuri would touch Victor’s bare body with his obnoxiously cold toes. 

Victor tried not to let his face show how upset he really felt. “Goodnight, Yuuri. I'll wake you up in a few hours, like the doctor said.” He watched Yuuri disappear down the hall, then went to pick up Makka’s leash. She was watching Yuuri as well, whining softly. The poodle was just as upset as Victor was about not having Yuuri around. “Come on, Makka. It’s time to go potty.” 

Makkachin ignored her owner, following Yuuri and stopping outside his door. She sniffed around, still whining quietly. Her ears were perked like she was trying to listen for Yuuri, but Victor wasn’t sure how much she could actually hear. She seemed to get tired of waiting for Yuuri to let her in, so she pawed at the door.

“Makka, no,” Victor scolded. 

The poodle didn’t hear him, whining louder and scratching at the door again. 

“Makka. Leave it.” Victor was firmer, and louder, this time. Makka seemed to hear him, and turned toward her owner. “Come here,” Victor called. 

Makka looked back at the door, but she was too much of a good girl to ignore her owner. She padded back toward Victor, looking defeated. He scratched her head as she approached, praising her for listening. 

“I’m sorry, girl. It’s just you and me tonight.” Victor sighed, his eyes starting to sting with tears. “I wish I could tell you that this is just temporary, but I don’t know.” He pat her head again, then clipped her leash onto her collar. He never thought he’d have to go back to when it was just him and Makka. Those days were so lonely. 

As Victor led Makka out of the apartment, he spared one last glance at the closed door down the hall. He kept hoping that Yuuri would throw the door open and run into Victor’s arms. It didn’t even matter if he remembered everything or not, as long as Victor could hold him again, he’d be happy. Yet despite Victor’s wishes, the door remained firmly shut. 


	3. Present

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri has agreed to a relationship with Victor, but can they pick up the pieces?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For timeline purposes, this takes place shortly after the prologue
> 
> FLUFF FLUFF FLUFF
> 
> Fun fact, I actually got this idea from an article about a guy who lost his memory and fell in love with his wife again anyway. Amnesia AUs are always so sad so I wanted a fluffy one :D

Now that Yuuri had said he wanted to stay with Victor, it was nearly impossible for Victor to not cling to him at every moment. Victor was used to a lot of physical contact, so to go more than a month without being able to hold the person he loved most felt like torture. There were so many times when Victor wanted to wrap his arms around Yuuri, to smother him in kisses for no reason other than the fact that he was very kissable, but he couldn’t, because Yuuri didn’t know him. Their relationship hadn’t been defined. 

Now, they were definitely together, at least in some sense of the word, but that didn’t mean Yuuri was ready for full force Victor Katsuki-Nikiforov. The last thing Victor wanted to do was come on too strong and scare Yuuri away. Maybe he was being selfish, but he wanted Yuuri to stay with him. He wanted to fight for them to be together. He’d never force himself into Yuuri’s life, but if Yuuri wanted to try at a relationship, Victor was determined to woo him. Victor just had to try not to think about the fact that if he messed up, Yuuri might still ask him to leave. There was no guarantee that Yuuri would fall in love with him again, but Victor was going to do everything he could to make it happen. It felt a bit like an unfair advantage, but it was worth it to see Yuuri’s face light up when Victor bought a copy of his favorite book, or automatically handed him the right seasoning for a recipe without being asked. 

If only Victor didn’t have to constantly fight the urge to drape himself over his husband (boyfriend?) every time they were within touching distance of each other. Even worse, Yuuri was totally oblivious to Victor’s struggle. Victor was used to Yuuri always knowing when he needed physical contact. Somehow, he’d just look at Victor and know that he needed to be close to Yuuri. At least, he used to. Now, he just looked like he was trying not to spontaneously combust by being in close proximity to Victor. It was a little cute, if Victor was being honest, because it reminded him of Yuuri’s attitude when he’d first shown up to coach him. It was less cute that Victor felt like he was going to mess everything up at any moment. Was this what Yuuri’s anxiety felt like? 

Speaking of Yuuri, the man was currently on a video call with Phichit. Alone. In his room. It wasn’t that Victor was jealous, or worried (Yuuri and Phichit had made it clear years ago that their relationship was aggressively platonic), it was that Victor usually sat with Yuuri while he talked to Phichit. Sure, sometimes he wanted some alone time with his friend, but usually Yuuri would curl up next to Victor while they chatted, rolling his eyes fondly when Victor got too affectionate in front of his friend.

Victor sighed, pushing a grain of rice around with his chopsticks. His meal was long done, but he couldn’t find the motivation to get up and clean his bowl just yet. He had hoped that everything would magically get better between him and Yuuri, even if he logically knew it didn’t work like that. 

He didn’t even have Makka to keep him company today. Last Victor saw his beloved poodle, she was stiffly padding after Yuuri. She, of course, didn’t understand what was going on, or why Yuuri no longer remembered which toy was her favorite. 

Victor was expecting to spend his whole day alone, so when he felt a sharp thump on the back of his head, he jumped in surprise. He turned, glaring at a grinning Mari and rubbing the back of his head indignantly. 

“What was that for?” he huffed. 

“For being an idiot,” Mari responded with a shrug. She sat across from Victor, fixing him with a look that Yuuri had told him was her “big sister face”. Nothing good ever came from that look.

Victor cocked his head in confusion. “What did I do?” 

“You tried to leave.” 

“What? No I didn’t! What did Yuuri say?” 

Mari snorted. “He got all weepy because he felt bad about making you think he was breaking up with you. Then he told me you offered to go.” 

Pouting, Victor responded, “I didn’t want to force him to be with me.” 

“And that’s very noble of you,” she quipped. “So you were just going to be all self-sacrificing and pack up and leave? Just like that?”

“If Yuuri told me to go, I would.” 

Mari leaned across the table and flicked his nose. “What about the rest of us?” 

Victor leaned back in surprise. “What?”

“Were you just going to disappear from Yuuri’s life? From all our lives? Without saying anything?” Mari frowned at him.

“I wasn’t sure if you’d still want me around if--” 

Mari held up a hand. “Don’t finish that sentence. You’re family, dummy. Whatever you and Yuuri decide, that won’t change. I know Minako and the Nishigoris would say the same thing.” 

Victor started to tear up. He rushed over to Mari, pulling her into a tight hug and crying into her shoulder. “Thank you.” 

She made a surprised sound, but patted his back affectionately. “Don’t get used to this. I’m not a hugger.” 

Despite Mari’s declaration, she continued to hug Victor, letting him whimper and sniffle. Their bonding session was interrupted by the sound of a phone camera and a surprised chuckle. They broke the hug, and Victor wiped the remaining tears from his eyes. Yuuri was standing in the doorway to the dining area, still holding his phone up and smiling warmly at the two of them.

“Come get your octopus of a husband.” Mari jabbed a finger at Victor, untangling herself from his grasp. “I think he needs some attention.” 

Yuuri blushed and bit his lip, looking hesitant, but ultimately approached Victor and Mari. Mari ruffled Victor’s hair, before standing up and grabbing his bowl. She left the room, winking at him over her shoulder. Yuuri sat down in her place, his hands folded in his lap and his body shifted just far enough from Victor that they weren’t touching. 

“Are you alright?” Yuuri asked, looking at him with concern.

“Yeah,” Victor replied genuinely. “Mari was just being uncharacteristically supportive.” 

Yuuri laughed, and the sound was music to Victor’s ears. “Wow. Maybe she’s sick,” Yuuri joked. 

Victor chuckled. “The only possible explanation. How’s Phichit?” 

“Phichit’s good. He’s already training hard for next season.”

Makka trotted into the room, wagging her tail as she approached Victor. He scratched behind her ears, prompting the poodle to lean into his hand. “Not surprising. He’s been so close to making the podium at his last few international competitions.” 

“It’s crazy. Last I remember, he was barely starting to land quads reliably. Now, he’s one of the top skaters in the world,” Yuuri murmured in disbelief. 

Victor nudged him playfully. “So are you. In fact, you are  _ the _ best skater in the world as of last season.” 

Yuuri blushed, shaking his head. “I can’t believe that either. I saw the video, and the medal, but it still doesn’t seem real.” He glanced at Victor. “And I can’t believe that you’re retiring.”

Victor started to reach out a hand, but ended up pulling back. Yuuri followed the movement with his eyes, then hesitantly reached out and met him halfway. Their fingers intertwined and Victor felt tension leaving his body. “It’s for the best. I’ve already pushed my luck, competing as long as I did.” 

“Maybe,” Yuuri replied with a shrug, his face flushed with color. “But it’s still hard to imagine a skating season without you.” 

“It’s a little hard to imagine stopping for good,” Victor admitted. “But I’m ready. I want to focus on coaching, and I don’t want to injure myself. Yakov’s been pestering me to take more responsibility, anyway.” 

Yuuri hummed contemplatively. “I guess that gives you plenty of time to coach me, then.” 

Victor’s eyes widened. “Really? You still want me to coach you?” 

“Of course. I’m sorry I said otherwise.” Yuuri looked ashamed. 

“It’s alright,” Victor insisted, squeezing Yuuri’s hand. It had hurt when Yuuri told him he was thinking about contacting Celestino, so it was a relief to hear he’d changed his mind. 

They sat in an amicable silence for a few moments, Yuuri cautiously rubbing his thumb on the back of Victor’s hand. Out of nowhere, Yuuri looked over at Victor and said, “You always do what people want you to do, don’t you?” 

“Hm? What do you mean?” 

Yuuri looked a little unsure about what he was saying, but continued anyway. “You skate because people want you to. You pose for photos because people want you to. Your whole career revolved around making everyone else happy, and doing what they wanted you to do.” He made eye contact with Victor, looking resolute. “Tell me I’m wrong.” 

Victor was stunned. “You’re not wrong.” 

Yuuri nodded triumphantly. “I thought so.” He gripped Victor’s hand a little harder. “Don’t do that with me.” 

“What?” 

“Don’t do something because  _ I  _ want it. Not at the expense of your own feelings.”

“I don’t…”

“I’ve been hurting you.” Yuuri said it as a fact, not as a question. “I’ve been making stupid, selfish decisions, and you went along with it, because it was what I wanted. What I  _ thought _ I wanted.” 

Victor wasn’t usually a crier, but he felt himself tearing up for the umpteenth time that day. It was amazing how much more he’d been crying since Yuuri’s injury. “Yuuri…” 

“We need to communicate. Tell me if I’m upsetting you. Tell me what you need from me.” Yuuri moved his free hand so he was resting it on their clasped hands. “You deserve to be happy too, Victor.” 

All Victor wanted to do was kiss Yuuri like he’d never kissed him before. However, that might be pushing it. “Can I hold you?” 

Yuuri smiled and embraced Victor. Victor didn’t waste any time latching onto him. He held Yuuri tight, like he hadn’t been able to do for so long. “I love you. I love you so much. I don’t expect you to feel the same, but I want you to know.” Maybe the declaration was too soon, but Victor couldn’t help it. 

Yuuri didn’t return the sentiment, which Victor expected, but he did tighten his grip. “You’re very tactile,” Yuuri observed. 

“Sorry.” Victor went to pull away, but Yuuri held on to him.

“I didn’t mean it as a bad thing. I’m not really a tactile person, but I don’t mind so much with you.” Yuuri mumbled that last bit into Victor’s shoulder, sounding embarrassed. “So if physical contact is important to you, you can hug me. And hold my hand. Stuff like that.” 

Victor’s grip tightened even more. “Really? Are you sure you don’t mind? I know you like your personal space.” 

“Well, right now you’re sort of crushing my ribs,” Yuuri wheezed. 

Releasing his grip, Victor pulled away. “Sorry, I got a little over-excited.”

Chuckling, Yuuri responded, “Really, it’s alright. When you’re not squeezing the air out of my lungs, I actually kind of like being close to you.” 

Victor grinned, elbowing Yuuri playfully. “Oh, do you now?” 

“I’m gonna take it back,” Yuuri threatened lightly. 

“You can’t!” Victor teased. 

Yuuri shook his head fondly. “If you say so.” 

The light banter made Victor almost believe everything was back to normal. He couldn’t help himself when he asked, “Can I take you out on a date?” 

After thinking for a few moments, Yuuri shook his head. “No.” Victor was crushed, until Yuuri grinned and added, “This is my hometown. I’m taking  _ you  _ out on a date.” 

“Oh?” Victor raised an eyebrow. 

“Uh huh.” Yuuri stood up, offering Victor his hand. “Alright, let’s go.”

“What, right now?”

“Are you doing something else?”

He wasn’t, and even if he was, he wasn’t going to turn down a date with Yuuri. It was just surprising to see Yuuri taking so much initiative. Of course, Yuuri showed initiative all the time in their relationship, but it had taken him a long time to feel comfortable doing so. To see him willing to take charge so early on in their new relationship made Victor’s heart flutter. 

When Yuuri cleared his throat and gave Victor a questioning look, Victor realized he’d been sitting there staring lovingly at his husband instead of answering him. “Oh! No, I’m free. Let’s go!” He reached out and accepted Yuuri’s still outstretched hand, and Yuuri pulled him to his feet. 

Yuuri led the two of them over to the door, only letting go of Victor’s hand so they could put their shoes on. They waved at Yuuri’s family and promised to be home for dinner, then they were out the door. Victor wasn’t sure where Yuuri was going to take him, so he let Yuuri grab his hand again and pull him along. They had been on plenty of dates in Hasetsu, so Victor was thinking hard, trying to guess where they were going. They passed Victor’s favorite ramen place, and didn’t turn down the path to go to Hasetsu Castle, and Yuuri didn’t take them to the train station or the beach. Victor was about to just ask where they were going, when he realized they were on a very familiar path. He’d walked, jogged, and biked this path countless times over the past few years, so when Yuuri didn’t stop on the bridge to look out over the water, Victor knew where they were going. He just didn’t understand why.

“Neither of us have our skating gear,” Victor pointed out.

Humming in response, Yuuri winked and kept pulling Victor toward Ice Castle. He didn’t say anything else when Victor made a questioning noise. He still didn’t say anything when they ascended the very familiar steps. And he still didn’t say anything when they walked in the door and entered the lobby, which was far busier than usual.

It occurred to Victor that this was the first time he’d been to Ice Castle during normal business hours. All of their practice time had been arranged when the rink was otherwise closed so they could be hidden from prying eyes. Switching his rink to Victor’s had been a huge adjustment for Yuuri. There were many more skaters and coaches, even compared to his time in Detroit. Yuuri didn’t particularly like being watched while he skated, so their first few practices had been a little rough. But of course, Yuuri managed to find his inner confidence, like he always did, and walked in one day with his head held high and never had any more problems. 

There were heads swiveling in their direction, murmuring and sneakily trying to pull out cell phones to take photos. It didn’t surprise Victor at all; Yuuri was a local celebrity. Hasetsu had always been supportive, but his success under Victor’s coaching had made him even more popular. Ice Castle had seen a surge in activity following Yuuri’s first world record, as had Yu-topia. The Nishigoris had even started selling Yuuri-themed merchandise, much to Yuuri’s embarrassment. 

Despite looking uncomfortable, Yuuri continued to hold on to Victor’s hand, marching him over to the rental desk. Yuuko was looking down, fiddling with a single skate in her lap. She didn’t look up as the two of them walked over, too engrossed in her project. 

Yuuri bit his lip nervously, and cleared his throat. “Two pairs of rental skates, please.” 

“Of course--” Yuuko cut herself off, blinking in confusion when she realized who was asking. She glanced back and forth between Victor and Yuuri, searching for an answer.

Victor shrugged, and Yuuri didn’t budge. He looked at Yuuko expectantly and repeated, “Two pairs of rental skates, please.”

Yuuko raised an eyebrow. “What are you doing?”

“Going skating,” Yuuri replied. 

“And why are you trying to rent skates?” 

“That’s what people do when they go skating.” Yuuri shrugged.

Yuuko’s eyebrow lifted higher. “You’re professional figure skaters. You both have your own skates. Also,” she added, “it’s open skate right now, you can’t practice.” 

Yuuri shook his head. “We’re not here to practice. We’re on a date.” 

Yuuko looked confused, then her expression became delighted. “Oh! That’s so cute! Give me your sizes, I’ll get you our best rentals.” 

While Yuuri was giving Yuuko the information she needed, Victor was trying to wrap his head around his husband’s impromptu date plans. Victor hadn’t worn rental skates since he was a kid barely learning how to stand upright on the ice. He probably hadn’t skated just for the hell of it in equally as long. He wasn’t entirely sure what to do if he was on the ice but not practicing. 

Yuuri thanked Yuuko, who was grinning and giving Victor a thumbs up. Then, Yuuri gestured to a nearby bench, handing one pair of skates to Victor and carrying the other pair in his arms. Victor followed him and they both sat down on the bench, surrounded by murmurs and the sound of phone cameras. Yuuri waved shyly at a few fans, and Victor offered a couple of winks. The two of them sat side by side, tying up their rental skates. Victor wrinkled his nose when he thought about how many feet had been in these skates. They were too tight around his toes but too loose around his ankle, and Victor wasn’t entirely sure what color they were supposed to be. He glanced over at Yuuri, whose eyebrows were furrowed as he fiddled with his laces. It was a strange feeling to be wearing skates that weren’t his, and when he stood up, he felt like he wobbled a little. Victor just hoped they didn’t break their ankles. 

As soon as they were both ready to go, Yuuri stood up and grabbed Victor’s hand. Victor let himself be led toward the ice, trying not to wince as they walked across the room on bare blades. He made a note to ask the Nishigoris to sharpen the pair when they were done. How could anyone stand skating on blades that were so dull? 

Yuuri stepped onto the ice first, with Victor following right behind him. Victor quickly made his way to Yuuri’s side, never letting go of his husband’s hand. Yuuri was looking a little nervous under the scrutiny of some of the other skaters on the ice, who were pointing and whispering at the pair, so Victor decided to help him loosen up. He playfully bumped Yuuri’s hip with his own, then shifted himself so he was in front of Yuuri, skating backwards. He grabbed Yuuri’s other hand, leading them along. Thanks to the dull rental skates, it was a little less graceful than Victor usually moved, but Yuuri didn’t seem to mind. He giggled, squeezing Victor’s hands. 

The two of them skated a few laps around the ice, Victor still leading and glancing over his shoulder to make sure he didn’t run any kids over. Yuuri had relaxed after the first or second lap, and was smiling softly at Victor and singing along to the various pop songs that were playing over the speakers. A few fans had skated over to ask for photos or a hand shake, but Yuuri was handling it well. 

“You know,” Yuuri said after their fourth or fifth lap, “it was always my dream to skate on the same ice as you. I never imagined it would be like this.” 

“We’ve shared the ice many times,” Victor reminded him.

Yuuri shrugged. “I know. But I don’t remember, so I’m counting this as the first time.” 

“Well, then I better make it memorable!” Victor sped up, pulling Yuuri along faster and weaving around other skaters on the ice. He spun them around a few times, twirling Yuuri and then falling back into place at his side. 

Yuuri was laughing, his eyes sparkling with mirth. “You’re ridiculous.” He grinned mischievously. “Do you know what would really make this a memorable date?” 

“What?”

“Beating you in a race! I bet I can finish a lap before you!” Yuuri took off without waiting for Victor to respond. 

Fortunately, a lot of the other skaters had left, so the ice was fairly open. It gave Victor room to chase after Yuuri without worrying about running into anyone else. He lost a little bit of time processing what was going on, but then he was off, his laughter matching Yuuri’s. 

Yuuri was shooting teasing glances over his shoulder, skating unfairly fast and graceful considering the quality of the skates he was using. When Victor thought Yuuri wasn’t looking, he cut a corner so he could catch up. The next time Yuuri looked back, Victor was close enough to reach out and touch him. And Victor did. He pinched Yuuri’s backside, teasing him.

“Hey! You cheater!” Yuuri accused, putting on a burst of speed. 

Yuuri’s stamina would always be far superior to Victor’s, but Victor had always been faster. Considering Victor had just retired after the previous season, he was still fairly close to competitive shape as well. He had a chance to beat Yuuri on a straightaway. Victor skated as hard as he could, but Yuuri managed to finish his lap just before Victor. He looked over his shoulder and stuck his tongue out as he slowed down, his sides heaving.

Victor waved his hand dismissively, breathing hard. “You had a head start,” he wheezed. He skidded to a halt, almost stumbling on the unfamiliar skates. 

Once he came to a complete stop, Yuuri crossed his arms. “But you cheated.” 

“I did not!” 

Yuuri rolled his eyes. “Uh huh. I’m sure that corner just cut itself.” 

Victor chuckled, not particularly upset that he had been caught. “It must have.” 

As their breathing evened out, they fell back in at each other’s sides and skated leisurely around the rink. Music was still playing over the speakers, and Yuuri was happily swaying along as they did their laps. More people left the rink, until it was just the two of them out on the ice. Open skate was probably over, but Victor wasn’t ready for their date to be done. 

“Well, you won. What do you want your prize to be?” Victor was hoping Yuuri would suggest something that would keep their date going, but he just hummed and looked contemplative. Victor wanted to ask what was on his mind, but he was biting his lip and thinking very hard. Victor knew not to interrupt him when he looked like that.

Finally, Yuuri skidded to a halt, prompting Victor to do the same. Yuuri looked unsure, glancing around nervously. He turned and pulled on Victor’s hands so they were facing each other, but he was struggling to look Victor in the eye. After a few deep breaths, Yuuri glanced up, looking determined, and resolutely replied, “This.” He leaned forward, carefully placing both of his hands on Victor’s chest, and gently pressed their lips together. 

The kiss only lasted a few moments, not even long enough for Victor to process what was happening, before Yuuri was pulling back with a blush staining his cheeks. He looked insecure, like he was wondering if that was the right move. 

Victor didn’t waste any time, cupping Yuuri’s cheeks in his hands and leaning in to return the kiss. Yuuri practically melted, his hands clenching slightly on Victor’s chest. It wasn’t a particularly long or deep kiss, but it still made Victor’s heart race. Yuuri kissed him.  _ Yuuri _ kissed  _ him _ . The thought made Victor want to hold tighter, and kiss deeper, but he managed to make himself pull back so he didn’t overwhelm Yuuri. They pulled apart, but Yuuri grasped at Victor’s shirt underneath his hands, like he didn’t want him to move too far away. The two of them were almost chest-to-chest at this point, and Victor could feel Yuuri’s breath on his lips. He wanted to kiss him again.

Yuuri beat him to it. He pulled Victor even closer, and restarted the kiss. Yuuri was hesitant, in a way he hadn’t been in years, but Victor wasn’t surprised. He knew he’d been Yuuri’s first kiss, and really, his first everything. Yuuri would be experiencing all of that for the first time again. It was understandable that he might need a little time to get comfortable with their physical relationship again. 

Even if it was inevitable that they had to separate eventually, Victor still pouted when Yuuri stopped kissing him and took a full step back. It hadn’t been a particularly passionate or heated kiss, but considering how long Victor had gone without  _ any _ kissing, he still loved it. 

Yuuri’s entire face and neck were bright red. “Was that...ok?” 

Victor smiled warmly. “More than ok. Feel free to kiss me any time.” He winked. 

Impossibly, Yuuri got redder. “Oh my god.” He covered his face with his hands. One eye peeked out from in between his fingers. “You are nothing like I expected, you know.” 

For a moment, Victor almost cracked. He felt the tension in his jaw and the downward tilt of his lips that he had to force into a smile. Of course Yuuri was expecting something else,  _ someone _ else. He probably still thought of Victor as a suave playboy. Victor knew what his reputation had been, however untrue it was. Yuuri must have expected Victor to be more romantic, more passionate. And Victor blew it by pressing their lips together like a couple of inexperienced teenagers. 

“Ah. I see.” Victor smiled tightly.

Yuuri frowned in response. “You’re making that face again.” 

“What face?” 

“The same face you made when you thought I was breaking up with you and you tried to pretend you were ok with it,” Yuuri explained. “You promised you wouldn’t do that with me.”

Victor was honestly impressed that Yuuri had noticed. It had taken him a lot longer the first time around to get proficient at reading Victor’s moods. “I’m sorry. I just feel bad that I disappointed you.” 

“Disappointed me? What do you mean?”

“I know I’m not really as impressive as the magazines make me out to be,” Victor admitted. “You were a fan of mine for a long time, you know what they say about me. The real me is far less interesting.” 

Yuuri shook his head. “I don’t agree with that. I like the real you far more than what I’ve read about in any magazine.” He closed the distance between them again, embracing Victor. “That’s what I was trying to say. You’re more amazing than I ever could have imagined.” 

Victor returned the hug, feeling on the brink of tears again. Since when had he become such a crier? “I can’t tell you how much that means to me.” 

Yuuri sighed happily. Victor would have loved to have stayed wrapped in each other’s arms forever, but a throat cleared behind them and startled them apart. They looked back, and Takeshi was sitting on the zamboni, the doors to the rink wide open. Apparently they had been so engrossed in each other that they had missed Takeshi’s clean up ritual. Fortunately, he looked more amused than angry. Less fortunately, the triplets were swarming around him, chattering happily about how many likes they were going to get for posting pictures of Victor and Yuuri kissing.

After groaning in embarrassment, Yuuri sighed in defeat. “Good to know the triplets haven’t changed.” 

Victor chuckled. “They certainly haven’t.” 

“You said they posted a video that helped bring us together, right? Can you tell me about that again?” 

Feeling giddy at the request, Victor didn’t waste any time agreeing. “I would love to. I’ll tell you all about it on the way home.” They stepped off the ice together, ignoring Takeshi’s wolf whistles, and Yuuri listened intently as Victor told the story that led up to their first real meeting.

\------------------------

Victor grinned at the photo of him and Yuuri embracing on the ice, quickly taking a screenshot. The triplets really had a knack for photography, particularly when it involved intruding on personal moments. Just as the triplets had hoped, their photo was blowing up on Instagram. While the public didn’t know about the personal struggles they’d been going through, this was the first picture of Yuuri in skates since his injury, and the first picture of Yuuri and Victor together. Considering how often Victor normally posted photos of his husband, or his husband and their dog, or his husband and himself, there had been speculation about what was happening in their personal lives when Victor suddenly stopped posting all together. The last post he’d made was the one Yuuri approved, where he made an informal announcement about Yuuri’s injury. He really hadn’t felt like opening his Instagram and being bombarded with photos of the two of them at a happier time. Now, though, it didn’t seem so bad to look back on said photos. 

“What are you so happy about?” Yuuri was looking at him with an eyebrow raised.

They were sitting side-by-side on Victor’s bed, Yuuri playing on his Switch, and Victor scrolling through his phone. Makka was sprawled out at their feet, snoring contentedly. It felt so normal, to be close to Yuuri like this. He still seemed a little shy about the close proximity, but he was getting bolder about leaning into Victor’s space.

Victor turned his phone so Yuuri could see. “It’s a nice photo of us.” 

Yuuri’s eyes scanned over the picture and the caption. He smiled. “It is nice.” 

Despite how much closer they’d become, Victor still felt a surge of relief knowing Yuuri was ok with a public declaration of their affection. He was worried Yuuri would be embarrassed or anxious about seeing photos of them online, but he was still smiling, perhaps a little smugly. It almost made Victor chuckle. Apparently, Yuuri hadn’t forgotten his possessive side; he actually looked quite pleased about the photo. 

Yuuri seemed to notice Victor staring. “What?” 

“Nothing,” Victor insisited. “You’re just cute, is all.” 

Predictably, Yuuri blushed, glancing away bashfully. Victor would be lying if he said he wasn’t enjoying flustering Yuuri. It had gotten harder the longer they’d been together, as Yuuri had become much less insecure about compliments. He still loved them, even if he’d roll his eyes sometimes when Victor went a little overboard with his declarations. Victor never missed the sparkle in Yuuri’s eyes, or how he’d fight back a smile when Victor complimented him, regardless of how much of a front he put up. 

“I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to you saying things like that,” Yuuri admitted. 

“I hope you don’t. I love watching you get so flustered.” Victor grinned as he voiced some of his earlier thoughts. 

Yuuri became even redder, and he tried to hide his face behind his Switch. He mumbled something that Victor couldn’t hear. 

“What was that?” 

Yuuri reluctantly moved the Switch away from his face, so he and Victor were looking at each other. “You’re cute too. I mean,” he started babbling, “you’re more than cute, you’re  _ gorgeous _ , but, oh my god why is this so hard, I mean--” 

Victor decided to put Yuuri out of his misery. He leaned forward and silenced his husband with a kiss. Yuuri made a surprised noise, but relaxed into the kiss immediately. It was still gentle and tentative, but it made Victor sigh happily. When they pulled apart, Victor grinned mischievously and flopped down on Yuuri’s lap. Yuuri managed to move his hands in time so Victor didn’t knock the Switch out of his grip. He looked up at Yuuri, batting his eyelashes with faux innocence.

“Oh, my Yuuri is so sweet! Saying such nice things about me. If you think I’m so good looking, maybe I should give you a poster, so you can look at my  _ gorgeous _ face all the time,” he teased, knowing what kind of reaction he’d elicit. 

Yuuri’s eyes widened comically. “Um. Well. If that’s what  _ you  _ want.” 

“I could sign it, too.” 

Yuuri was clearly fighting against his inner fanboy. “Oh. I mean, I guess. I don’t really care either way.” 

“I’m sure it would fit in with your collection.” 

That did it. Yuuri’s face reached peak levels of crimson, and he let out a squeak of embarrassment. “Collection? I have no idea what you’re talking about. None at all. Nope.” His voice was unnaturally high pitched.

Victor held tapped his finger on his chin, like he was thinking. “What about the one under your bed? Next to the body pillow?” 

“You know about that?!” 

“Mari may have told me about it after we got engaged,” Victor explained. “I think it’s flattering! Although I am upset that my Yuuri collection isn’t as good as your Victor collection.” 

“Your  _ what _ ?!” 

“My Yuuri collection!” Victor repeated. “Once I found out about your collection, I knew I had to start finding Yuuri merchandise. I have to catch up to you!” 

Yuuri shook his head in disbelief. “Oh my god. Oh. My. God.” 

Victor opened up his phone, scrolling through his photos until he found the one he wanted. He tilted the screen toward Yuuri. “Look! I have a Yuuri body pillow! I keep telling you to bring yours so we can keep them together, but you don’t want to.” He pouted. 

“I can’t believe we’re having this conversation.” Yuuri was still shaking his head. “And I can’t believe you knew about the posters and you didn’t run away screaming.” 

“I really don’t mind,” Victor insisted, more serious. He could see that Yuuri was starting to look genuinely upset about the posters, so he stopped his teasing. “I think--” 

Victor was about to offer Yuuri more reassurances, but Makkachin had finally been roused by all the activity, and she had decided to step all over Victor’s face so she could reach Yuuri. He sputtered as a fluffy paw stepped on his mouth, flailing uselessly under the poodle. Yuuri’s embarrassed groaning turned to laughter, and he started encouraging Makka, getting her more riled up.

“Good girl! That’s a very good girl, Makka!” Yuuri cooed.

Makka got more excited, and she bounced off of Victor’s stomach. “Makkachin! No!” he wheezed, struggling to get words out while the excited poodle was using him as a springboard. He tried to get up, but Makka was too excited and kept knocking him down.

Yuuri just kept laughing. “That’s what you get for teasing me! I’ll help you only if you apologize.” 

Victor didn’t have any leverage to resist. “Ok, ok!” Makka jumped up again, just barely missing landing on a very sensitive region. “I’m sorry! Yuuri help me!” 

Yuuri hummed in contemplation, taking far longer than necessary to make a decision. Finally, Yuuri replied, “Ok. I guess I can help.” He steadied the excited poodle, guiding her off of Victor so he could sit up. 

Victor glared at his husband, and Yuuri just grinned in return, stroking Makkachin lovingly. “You two are so mean! Ganging up on me!” Victor pouted, trying to look as sad as possible.

Obviously, Yuuri wasn’t buying it. He took one look at Victor, and started giggling again. “Oh my god, your hair right now!” 

Indignantly, Victor reached up and tried to smooth his hair back down. “So cruel!” he lamented. 

Chuckling, Yuuri reached over to help, gently running his fingers through Victor’s hair. Victor leaned forward so Yuuri could reach better, humming happily when Yuuri started massaging his scalp. He heard Makka settle back down next to them, having used up all her energy bounding around. She got tired much faster nowadays. 

“This is nice,” Victor sighed happily. He leaned even further, so his head was tipped forward onto Yuuri’s shoulder. “I take it I’m forgiven?” he joked. 

“You’re like Makkachin; I can’t stay mad at you,” Yuuri chuckled lightly. He never ceased the movement of his fingers. “I know who she learned her pouting from.”

“Mhm. I taught her everything she knows,” Victor murmured, feeling himself being lulled into a contented fog. 

Yuuri continued to soothe Victor, then broke the silence by asking, “What do you want to do today? I think tomorrow we should get back into a regular training schedule, but I’m up for a little more vacation time today.”

Victor peeked an eye open. “I’m up for anything, as long as it’s with you.”

Yuuri finally pulled his fingers out of Victor’s hair so he could swat him playfully. “That’s very sweet, but not helpful.” 

Reluctantly, Victor leaned away so he could look at Yuuri properly. He thought for a few moments, before an idea popped into his head. “How about a trip to the beach? It’s nice and warm today.” He glanced sadly at Makkachin. “I’m not sure how many beach trips she has left.” 

Yuuri nodded in understanding, patting Victor’s arm sympathetically. “I think that sounds like a great idea. Let’s do it.” 

Now that they had decided on a plan for the day, both of them stood up and stretched. Makka’s tail thumped on the bed as Victor picked up her leash off the nightstand. She sat up and tried to jump off the bed, but Yuuri managed to catch her in time and help her to the ground. The poodle ambled happily over to Victor, standing still as Victor clipped the leash on. 

“Do you have any sunscreen?” Yuuri asked, eyeing Victor up and down. “I bet you’ll burn out there.” 

Yuuri was right, of course. Victor had gotten horribly sunburned on many beach excursions, so the Katsuki’s had started keeping an extra stock of sunscreen just for him. “Yeah, I’ll get some before I go. Do you want to get us some water and snacks?”

“Sure,” Yuuri agreed. “I’ll meet you at the door in a few minutes.” 

Once he had changed into his swim trunks, Victor packed a small pack for Makka with a collapsible dog bowl and some treats before tracking down sunscreen for himself. By the time he had applied the sunscreen and grabbed a couple of towels, Yuuri was ready to go as well, standing in the doorway with two water bottles and a handful of snacks. Victor offered his pack and they put away the food and water. Then, Victor put on his designer sunglasses, grinning at Yuuri.

“Ready?”

Yuuri nodded. “Yeah. Let’s go.” 

They both put on their shoes and set out, Makka panting happily at Victor’s side. The two of them chatted amicably as they walked at a leisurely pace, stopping every so often to let Makka sniff and relieve herself. When they reached the beach, Makka yipped happily. The beach was her favorite place, and Victor was happy to see that she still loved being there. There were a few other people on the beach, mostly families, but it wasn’t too busy. Victor was surprised, considering how hot and sunny it was. 

Makka was pulling on her leash, whining excitedly. Victor chuckled. “Alright you big puppy, take it easy.” He unclipped her leash, and Makka took off, bounding toward the water. She was definitely going to be sore later.

Yuuri laughed as Makka splashed in the surf, then he guided Victor over to an empty patch of beach. They set out their towels and pulled off their shirts, dropping them onto the sand. Victor carefully folded his sunglasses, along with Yuuri’s glasses. He winked as he noticed Yuuri appraising his body, causing his husband to flush with embarrassment at being caught. 

“Um. Should we swim?” Yuuri offered, pointedly looking anywhere but Victor’s bare chest. 

“Sure. Beat you there!” Victor sped off toward the surf. Yuuri made a noise of protest behind him.

“Hey!” 

“This is revenge for yesterday!” Victor called over his shoulder, referencing their race on the ice.

Victor was goofing around, but they were both extremely competitive, so he was determined to win. He could hear Yuuri panting behind him, but he managed to charge into the surf first, whooping triumphantly. Just as Victor was turning around to gloat, another body slammed into him and knocked him into an oncoming wave. He managed to take in a lungful of air before he and Yuuri went under. The cool water was a shock to his system, but he adjusted quickly. They came up for air, both dripping and completely soaked. Yuuri pushed his damp hair out of his eyes, grinning at Victor. He didn’t waste any time, sending a wave of water in Victor’s direction and wading away.

Excited by the commotion, Makka paddled over to them, swimming around her owners and nudging them playfully. Victor sent a wave of water in Yuuri’s direction, and Makka bounced up as high as she could, nipping at the water. Yuuri managed to stay out of range and stuck his tongue out at Victor. Victor waded after him, trying to get back into range to splash him again. Makka intercepted him, swimming in front of him and almost knocking him back into the surf.

“Makka! You traitor! You keep siding with Yuuri today.” 

“She likes me better,” Yuuri teased.

“After all I’ve done for you!” Victor maneuvered around the poodle, chasing Yuuri. He managed to get close enough to splash him again, and Yuuri turned right around and returned the favor. Makka bounced up again, her teeth closing over nothing in mid air. 

They went back and forth for a while, splashing each other, and Makka, until the poodle finally swam back to land. She was panting heavily, staring at her owners expectantly. Victor followed her out, guessing she was looking for some water. Victor noted that Makka was definitely a little more stiff, but she looked like she’d had fun. He should have given her some of her pain meds before they went out.

“Come here, Makka,” Victor called, pulling the collapsible dog bowl out of his pack. He poured some water from the water bottles into the bowl and offered it to her. Makka dove in immediately, slurping down the cool liquid. Victor took a few swigs of his own.

Yuuri joined them, grabbing his own water bottle to quench his thirst. “Is she ok?”

“Yeah. Her arthritis is just acting up, I think.” 

“Should we take a break from swimming?”

Victor nodded. “Yeah, I think that would be a good idea. Otherwise she’ll probably try to follow us back into the water.” 

After dusting sand off their towels, the two of them laid down side-by-side. Makka sprawled out in the sand beside them, nestling down to the cooler layers. Victor dug out the sunscreen and re-applied a layer onto his face, then he threw his sunglasses on. He didn’t want to burn, and he also didn’t want a sunglasses tan. He didn’t need to look like a pale raccoon while he was trying to woo Yuuri.

Yuuri sighed contentedly on the towel next to Victor, stretching out to let the sun warm as much of his still damp skin as possible. Victor took the opportunity to appreciate the lines of his husband’s body, fit and muscular, but still soft in a way that was uniquely Yuuri. Victor realized he was staring too long when he started to feel warm in a way that he knew had nothing to do with the sun. He turned his head away, looking up at the cloudless sky. They had only just started to reconnect; he didn’t need to start ogling Yuuri every time the man took his shirt off. He didn’t want to come across as some kind of sex-crazed maniac. Yuuri hadn’t expressed any interest in making their relationship more physical, and Victor didn’t want to push him. He still felt like any wrong move could turn Yuuri away from him.

“Vitya? Are you alright?”

“Yeah. I’m just--” It took Victor’s brain a moment to catch up to what Yuuri had said. Yuuri called him “Vitya”. He sat up suddenly, looking over at Yuuri with wide eyes. “What did you say?” 

Yuuri sat up as well, biting his lip. “Oh, uh, I’ve been talking to Yurio and he said I should call you that. Was that ok? Did I say it wrong? Should I--”

Victor cut Yuuri off, tackling him back down onto the towel and kissing him frantically. It briefly crossed Victor’s mind that he was crossing a line, but following a surprised grunt, Yuuri seemed to melt into the kiss. It was only concern for being cited for public indecency that had Victor pulling back. Yuuri was flushed beneath him, his eyes fluttering open slowly. He held one hand up to Victor’s cheek, smiling softly.

“You smell like sunscreen,” Yuuri joked, sounding flustered. 

Victor just grinned. “You never cease to surprise me.” He leaned in for one more kiss, and Yuuri tilted his head up so their lips could meet in a quick peck. 

“Vityaaaaa,” Yuuri whined, playfully pushing him away. “You’re going to get us in trouble!” 

It was music to his ears, hearing Yuuri call him “Vitya”. It had been quite jarring to have Yuuri calling him “Victor” after all their years together. “Well, maybe we should clean up and head home then, because I really want to kiss you some more.” Victor did feel bad cutting their beach trip short, but he thought he might go crazy if he didn’t get to kiss Yuuri again. 

“But we just got here,” Yuuri chuckled. 

“Yuuuuuuri!” Victor imitated Yuuri’s earlier whine. “It’s your fault for being so kissable!” 

Yuuri was biting his lip again, which wasn’t helping Victor’s desire to kiss him senseless. “Ok. We can go home and...kiss more.” He looked embarrassed to say it, but definitely eager. 

The two of them stood up, brushing themselves off. They folded up their towels and helped Makka stand up, leading her over to the showers to rinse off. The water was cold, and made them both shiver, but Victor couldn’t help but smile. It reminded him of their beach day during their first summer together. Even Makka perked up, and Victor wondered if she was remembering too. 

Both of them were eager to get home, so they rinsed off quickly, then toweled each other and Makka dry. Victor put his shirt back on, and Yuuri did the same. Then, they set off toward home, hand-in-hand. Makka seemed to have gotten a second wind, and was prancing around happily. Victor was happy to see how energetic she was, at least until she spotted some gulls on the beach and took off back toward the water. 

“Makka! No!” Victor called out helplessly as his senior poodle charged through the sand like a puppy. She barked happily, scattering the birds, then jumped back into the surf. She paddled around, ignoring both Victor and Yuuri’s frantic calls from the shore. Victor ran after Makka, with Yuuri hot on his heels. They both whistled and called to her, but Makka either couldn’t hear them, or was ignoring them. She continued to splash around, panting happily. 

They reached the water, and Victor tried calling out again. “Makka! Come!” 

Makka finally seemed to hear her name being called. She turned, swimming back toward shore. Victor started praising her, and Yuuri sighed in relief. Makka paddled full speed at them, breaking into a bounding run when her feet could reach the bottom. Victor registered too late that Makka was not slowing down, and barely had time to brace himself before he was knocked over by a very spry, elderly poodle. 

Victor’s back hit the sand, knocking the wind out of him. Makka licked his face, dripping water and wet sand everywhere. “Why are you acting like such a naughty puppy today? Off!” Victor managed to push her off, but he was already soaked. And to add insult to injury, Makka shook, spraying even more water all over her owner. 

Yuuri laughed from beside him. “I guess Makka decided she wasn’t done. This is what we get for acting like a couple of love-sick teenagers.” 

Victor wanted to protest, because he had  _ really _ wanted to go home and kiss Yuuri, but the whole situation was so ridiculous, he couldn’t help but laugh. “I think you’ve corrupted her. She forgot how old she is!” 

“Age is just a number, right Makka?” Yuuri ruffled the poodle’s wet hair affectionately, prompting another shake. Somehow, she still managed to only spray water at Victor. 

Victor stood up, shaking off as much sand as he could. “I suppose I should go rinse off again. And Makka too. Your family probably wouldn’t appreciate us dragging sand into the house.” 

“No, they definitely wouldn’t,” Yuuri agreed, still chuckling. 

After making sure Makka was leashed, Victor led her back over to the showers so she could get rinsed again. Then he handed her leash to Yuuri so he could rinse himself off as well. They had now used both of their towels to dry Makka, and since Victor wasn’t keen on smelling like wet dog, he opted to keep his shirt off and air dry as they walked home. If, as an added bonus, Yuuri hummed appreciatively as his eyes skimmed over Victor’s body, he wasn’t going to complain. Yuuri, of course, blushed and turned away when he was caught staring, prompting a grin and a wink from Victor. 

Fortunately, the walk home was far less exciting. Makka seemed to have used up her energy, and padded along politely. Around the last block she started limping a little, which made Victor feel a little guilty about letting her get so out of control and stress her old joints. 

“I think I could use a soak after all that,” Yuuri announced as they entered the house. 

“Agreed.” 

“Meet you in the onsen?” 

“Sure. I’ll just get Makka settled.” 

Makka was still a little damp, so Victor fished out a couple more towels to make sure she wasn’t going to make a mess in the house. Once he was satisfied that she was at least relatively dry, he led her back into the house, slipped off his shoes, and took her back to his room. Makka immediately limped over to her bed, curling up with a tired sigh. Victor patted her head and cooed at her, then dug out some of her pain meds. Hidden in peanut butter, the meds went down without an issue. With Makka settled in, Victor made his way to the onsen. He stripped down and scrubbed himself clean, then went out to the warm pool. 

Yuuri was already soaking, his eyes closed and his face relaxed. He looked up as Victor dipped a toe in the water, shifting his eyes away politely. Without hesitation, Victor sunk down into the water, his muscles welcoming the warmth. He settled in near Yuuri, leaving a comfortable distance in case Yuuri wanted some space. 

“How’s Makka?” Yuuri asked, turning his head to face Victor.

“A little sore, but resting comfortably.”

“That’s good. I can’t believe how much energy she still has.”

Victor chuckled in agreement. “Neither can I. Sometimes I forget how old she is.” 

Yuuri murmured in agreement, then changed the subject. “I can’t believe you’re going to start coaching me tomorrow. I mean, I know it’s not really the first time, but for me it is.” 

“At least this time I have some experience. The first time we did this I had no idea what I was doing!” Victor admitted cheerfully.

Yuuri raised an eyebrow. “Is that supposed to make me feel better about this?” 

Victor replied with a shrug. “We work well together. I know your strengths and weaknesses, and how to motivate you.” Although, some of the more intimate motivations that Victor would offer would probably not be particularly appropriate in the face of their new relationship. “We bounce ideas off each other and work together on your programs. And mine too, before I retired. You helped me with my step sequences.” 

“I can’t believe that  _ I  _ helped  _ you _ .” Yuuri shook his head in disbelief. 

“Your step sequences are the best in the senior division,” Victor insisted. “You honestly helped me a lot.” 

Yuuri didn’t answer at first, looking contemplative. “It’s getting easier for me to believe you, to believe everything we did together. But sometimes, I still feel like I’m going to wake up from a dream.” 

“I feel like that too,” Victor admitted. “Every time I’d wake up next to you I’d wonder if I was still dreaming.”

“That was so cheesy,” Yuuri teased, but he looked like he was enjoying the praise. 

“Cheesy?” That wasn’t a word Victor understood. 

“It’s like…” Yuuri thought for a moment. “Corny. Although you probably don’t know what that means either…” he thought for another few moments. “It’s like, over-exaggerated, I guess. Like in a silly way.” 

“Hm.” Because of Yuuri’s time in America, he always seemed to know bizarre English phrases. “Well, then I guess I’ll be full of cheese for you!” 

Yuuri snorted, failing to hold back his laughter. “I don’t think that’s the right way to use that word.” 

Victor just grinned, and poked Yuuri’s side playfully. Yuuri swatted his hand away, but didn’t stop laughing. After that, they made casual conversation, chatting about the upcoming season, or what their friends were up to. They laughed over Chris’s most recent semi-scandalous Instagram pictures, which they had both seen earlier. Victor would have been content to stay in the warm water and chat with Yuuri forever, but eventually, they had to get out for dinner.

Dinner was equally pleasant, with good food and good conversation. Yuuri even reached over and held Victor’s hand, smiling shyly. Mari gave them a knowing look, and Hiroko beamed, encouraging them to eat extra helpings. Yuuri only agreed because they were going to start regular training tomorrow. 

After dinner, they helped clean up, bumping hips in front of the sink and flinging soap bubbles at each other. Mari eventually kicked them out because they were spending far more time flirting than actually doing dishes. Victor wasn’t going to complain about getting out of dish duty.

As they walked down the hall, Victor bid Yuuri a goodnight, pressing a kiss onto his cheek. He went to turn away, but Yuuri stopped him with a hand on his arm. 

“Victor. I mean, Vitya. Would you...do you want to…” Yuuri bit his lip, looking unsure. “Do you want to sleep together?” As soon as the words left his mouth, Yuuri’s face went red. “I mean, not like  _ that _ ! Just sleeping!” 

Once again, Yuuri had surprised him. “You want that?” Of course, Victor was more than ready to agree. He missed having Yuuri next to him while he slept. He’d grown so used to his warm, comforting presence that the past month had been miserable and cold. It was surprising to hear Yuuri ask, though. When their relationship first started and Victor tried to share a bed with Yuuri, he frequently had a door slammed in his face. 

Yuuri must have seen how confused Victor looked. “Mari may have told me that when you first got here you kept asking to sleep together. And I know how important physical contact is to you, so I figured I’d offer.” 

“You don’t have to do this for me if it makes you uncomfortable,” Victor insisted. 

Yuuri fidgeted a little. “I’m a little nervous, I guess, but I’m not uncomfortable. I wouldn’t mind, I don’t think.” 

“I would love that, then.” Victor smiled. “Do you want to get ready for bed and then come into my room? My bed is bigger. Although,” Victor added with a smirk, “I would also be ok with sleeping in your bed and cuddling really close.” 

Yuuri covered his face with his hands, embarrassed. “How do you always manage to say things that make me so flustered?” 

“I have a lot of practice,” Victor joked. 

Yuuri peeked through his fingers, then turned on his heel and retreated to his room. “I’m going to get ready for bed,” he announced. 

Chuckling, Victor waited until Yuuri’s door was shut, then entered his own room. Makka’s tail thumped, and Victor scratched her behind the ears. The poodle was definitely a little stiff, and needed some help getting up, but she managed to amble outside without an issue and do her business. She immediately returned to her bed when they came back inside, sighing heavily. With Makka taken care of, Victor got ready for bed. He was just applying his last layer of specially formulated night-time facial cream, when there was a hesitant knock on his door. 

“Come in,” Victor called.

The door slid open, and Yuuri shuffled inside. He closed the door, then looked around awkwardly. Victor put away his facial cream, then settled into bed. He smiled reassuringly, patting the mattress next to him. Yuuri hesitated a little, but made his way over to the bed. He offered Makka a couple of scratches, then slid under the blankets next to Victor. He was on his back, looking up at the ceiling and looking a little uncomfortable. 

“I don’t bite,” Victor promised. “Unless you ask me to.” He winked, but he wasn’t sure if Yuuri caught the gesture.

Victor was expecting more embarrassed blushing, but Yuuri just rolled his eyes. “That one was just bad.” 

Victor shrugged, then held his hand out to take Yuuri’s glasses. Yuuri complied, folding his glasses and carefully placing them in Victor’s hand. Victor placed them on his nightstand, then switched off the light. “Goodnight, my Yuuri.” 

“Goodnight, Vitya.” 

Victor settled in, and the sound of shuffling blankets told him that Yuuri was doing the same. It was nice to have Yuuri back in his bed, but it wasn’t the same as cuddling. It did cross Victor’s mind to try and bridge the gap between them, but he’d already been pushing Yuuri enough with his flirting, so he didn’t want to cross a line. 

It didn’t seem like Yuuri was ready to cuddle either, but he did reach over and intertwine his fingers with Victor’s. Victor smiled, squeezing his husband’s hand gently. He let himself be lulled to sleep by Yuuri’s gentle breathing. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, I'd love to hear from you!


	4. Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri is thirsty af

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm a day early but I love this chapter a lot and I couldn't wait to share it. So here you go! Please note that the rating has gone up. Thanks to BookewyrmeWritesFic for once again providing the perfect amount of steam for my fic!

The overhead light caught on Yuuri’s ring, making it glisten. Yuuri skidded leisurely to a stop, smiling at the sight. The ring on his finger that had filled him with trepidation and uncertainty when he awoke now filled him with warmth and happiness. It was proof of Victor’s affection, his commitment. It was still hard for him to believe that he had somehow captured Victor’s attention (apparently drunkenly), but he believed it a little more every time Victor smiled at him, or kissed him, or held his hand. He could believe that Victor loved him, because it was impossible to deny. Despite what Phichit liked to joke about, Yuuri wasn’t  _ that _ oblivious. The amount of devotion Yuuri had experienced in their short time together was proof enough. Victor had gone above and beyond making Yuuri comfortable and sticking by his side, despite how difficult Yuuri knew he’d been. Yuuri twisted his hand over, smiling again. He never imagined anyone would love him like this.

Victor skated up beside him, placing a comforting hand on his lower back. “Are you alright?” 

“Yeah. Just got a little distracted.”

“How about a quick break, then?” Victor offered. 

Yuuri nodded in approval, then they both skated over to the boards to sip from their water bottles. He glanced over at Victor, who looked far too attractive in his tight practice shirt and pants. It was probably for the best that Yuuri couldn’t see well without his glasses, because otherwise he’d just keep getting distracted by Victor. 

After a few quick stretches, Victor asked, “Ready to get back to work?” 

“Yeah. Could we work on the quad flip again? I know the muscle memory is there.”

Victor looked as nervous as he always did when Yuuri asked to work on his quads, and Yuuri got the feeling he was trying to come up with an excuse for why they should work on something else. Yuuri knew it was because he was worried about another injury, even if he wouldn’t admit it. The way Victor flinched every time Yuuri took off for a jump wasn’t quite as subtle as he thought it was. Yuuri was a little surprised that  _ he  _ wasn’t the nervous one, but the benefit of losing his memory was that he also couldn’t remember getting injured. There was no fear, beyond his usual anxiety, associated with working on jumps. 

Despite how hard he seemed to be looking for a reason to tell Yuuri “no”, Victor nodded solemnly. “Only a few reps, though. I don’t want you pushing too hard too fast.” 

Yuuri smiled, and leaned over to kiss Victor on the cheek. He could recognize a compromise. Yuuri still felt a little self conscious about showing Victor affection, particularly in public spaces, but it was worth it to see Victor’s face light up. After one last glance at Victor, who was beaming, Yuuri made his way to center ice. He took a deep breath, centering himself. He’d seen videos of himself landing the quad flip, of course, and Victor had walked him through it multiple times now. Plus, according to Victor, he landed that jump all the time, so he should have muscle memory to guide him. So why hadn’t he been able to land it yet?

Once Yuuri felt confident that his muscles were sufficiently warm and stretched, he skated off, picking up speed. He pictured everything Victor had told him about how to hold his body, and how to take off. Then, he jumped. And fell. Yuuri landed on his side, hissing in pain as he felt his hip bone bump the ice. That was going to be a good sized bruise. After making sure that his body was still working, Yuuri stood up and gave Victor a thumbs up to let him know he wasn’t injured. Victor looked tense, like he was ready to rush to Yuuri’s side, but he stayed where he was.

They’d had a fight about it already. Victor wasn’t shy about making cutting comments when he felt it was necessary, but this was the only time he’d heard Victor actually yell. Their argument was always at the front of Yuuri’s mind whenever he worked on jumps:

_ “Could we work on quads?” Yuuri asked. “I think the muscle memory must be there, so I don’t want to go too long without practicing them.” _

_ If Yuuri hadn’t spent the past few months getting close to Victor, he probably wouldn’t have noticed how much Victor tensed when Yuuri asked his question. Victor kept the smile plastered on his face, but Yuuri had gotten pretty good at reading between the lines. For all the things he loved about Victor, trying to get him to be upfront about his feelings was not one of them. No matter how many times Yuuri asked him to be honest, Victor’s first reaction still seemed to be to grit his teeth through the pain.  _

_ “I think we should keep marking your jumps in the new choreography. You’re still recovering--” _

_ “Why don’t you want me to work on quads?” Yuuri asked bluntly.  _

_ Victor looked contemplative for a few moments, like he was deciding what the best response was. “I never said you couldn’t work on quads.”  _

_ Yuuri crossed his arms. “You didn’t have to. You keep coming up with excuses about why you don’t want me to do them. Yesterday, you said you didn’t like the ice quality. The day before that, you said you had a stomach ache and needed to go home.”  _

_ Victor mirrored his stance, looking equally as tense. “I just think you’re rushing into things.”  _

_ “How so? The doctor cleared me to return to the ice, and I’ve made up for any lost time with off-ice conditioning,” Yuuri argued.  _

_ “I’m your coach, and I say no quads yet,” Victor insisted.  _

_ Yuuri narrowed his eyes. “Fine.”  _

_ Victor seemed a little surprised that Yuuri gave in so quickly, but he looked pleased. “Good. Now, let’s work on that sequence again.” He gave Yuuri a sharp look. “Mark your jumps.”  _

_ Without a word, Yuuri skated away. He stopped at center ice, shot a pointed glare at Victor, and then started gathering speed. He wasn’t reckless enough to try a quad flip without working up to it, but a quad sal seemed like a good place to start. He’d seen plenty of videos of himself landing it, and he talked to Yuri about how the younger skater had helped him the first time around. It should be easy.  _

_ Except it wasn’t. As soon as Yuuri took off, he knew it wasn’t right. He could year Victor’s panicked yell as he came down hard, rolling across the ice. Yuuri groaned in pain, rolling onto his side.  _

_ “Yuuri!” Victor skated frantically toward him, practically tripping over his skates as he knelt down to check on his student.  _

_ “I’m ok,” Yuuri promised. “I’m not hurt.” His pride was, though. _

_ Victor helped him sit up and gingerly escorted him off the ice. Yuuri was already aching, so he didn’t protest. The second they stepped off the ice, Victor rounded on him. “I told you to mark your jumps! I knew this would happen.” He shook his head disapprovingly. “Maybe you should take this season off.” _

_ Yuuri pulled out of Victor’s grasp. “Quit babying me! I fall on jumps all the time, and taking more time off isn’t going to make it any better!”  _

_ Victor narrowed his eyes. “Then you need to listen to your coach! I told you that you were rushing into things!”  _

_ “I’m not rushing into things!” Yuuri insisted. “Quit making a big deal of this!”  _

_ “You need to be more careful! What if you had hit your head again? The doctor said you needed to be cautious!”  _

_ Yuuri clenched his fists. He was prepared to scream at Victor, to argue in his own defense and tell his coach off, but then he noticed that Victor was shaking. He was trying to hide it, but his whole body was quivering. Victor was afraid. The fight melted out of Yuuri. Of course he was afraid. Victor had told him about how scared he’d been when Yuuri hit the ice and didn’t get up, and then he had to go through months of uncertainty with a husband who couldn’t even remember their wedding day.  _

_ After taking a few deep breaths to calm himself, Yuuri tried to level his voice. “I need you to trust me, Vitya. Trust that I know my limits.” Cautiously, Yuuri took a step forward, and tentatively hugged Victor. “I know you’re worried for me, but I don’t want that to hold us back.”  _

_ Initially, Victor tensed, but he quickly relaxed into the embrace and rested his head on Yuuri’s shoulder. His arms wrapped around Yuuri, squeezing him gently. “I’m sorry. I just keep reliving that moment when you fell. I don’t want it to happen again. I don’t want to lose you again.”  _

_ “You haven’t lost me,” Yuuri promised. “I’m not going anywhere.” Victor didn’t respond, so Yuuri kept going. “If we’re going to keep working together, we need to listen to each other. I promise I will be careful about jumps, if you promise not to stop me from doing them.”  _

_ Victor sighed in defeat. “Alright, that’s fair. You’ll have to do them eventually, anyway. I’m sorry I was being overbearing. When we’re out here, I’ll try to be your coach instead of your husband.”  _

_ “You can be both,” Yuuri offered, holding Victor tighter. Victor tightened his grip in response, and Yuuri knew that they would be ok. _

“Are you sure you’re alright?”

Yuuri snapped out of his musings. “Yeah, sorry, I got lost in thought. Can you walk me through what I did wrong?”

Victor nodded in agreement, then skated over to Yuuri to help adjust his form. He pulled his phone out as well, showing Yuuri a few slow motion videos to break down the technique even more. Then, he backed off so Yuuri could try again. Yuuri tried to offer a reassuring smile, but without his glasses on he couldn’t tell if Victor returned the gesture. Yuuri tried again, but without success. He kept trying, letting Victor shout out corrections and adjust his form, but he still couldn’t land it. He came close, but Victor cut him off before he could set up for another rep.

“I think that’s enough for tonight,” Victor said carefully.

As much as Yuuri wanted to argue, he didn’t. He wanted to respect the agreement he and Victor had come to. “Ok. Let me cool down.” 

Victor nodded in approval, then skated off to do his own cool down. Yuuri would be lying if he said he wasn’t frustrated. He’d picked up most of his other jumps again pretty quickly, but he couldn’t seem to get the hang of the quad flip. The first competition of the season was rapidly approaching, and Yuuri was starting to fear that he wouldn’t be able to master it. Of all the quads in his arsenal, Yuuri couldn’t help but feel like this was the most important one to get right. It was Victor’s jump. He couldn’t fail at Victor’s jump.

Yuuri took a shaky breath as he felt the weight of the upcoming season’s pressure pressing down on him. He was the reigning world champion, and he was  _ Victor Fucking Nikiforov’s _ husband, how could he go into this season without being able to land a quad flip? What would people think if he didn’t get it? What would  _ Victor _ think if he couldn’t get it? The logical part of Yuuri’s brain told him that if Victor had stuck with him this long, he probably wouldn’t dump Yuuri over not landing the quad flip. But his logical brain was not in control, and Yuuri couldn’t help but feel like the success of his relationship depended on landing this jump. 

Groaning, Yuuri stepped off the ice as his muscles cooled down. How had he handled pressure before his injury? In the photos and videos he’d seen of himself he seemed so much more confident and calm than he was now. 

“Ready to hit the showers?” Victor had finished his cool down as well and was snapping his skate guards back on.

Yuuri nodded. “Yeah.” He put on his own guards, then followed Victor to the locker room. 

They both put their skates away and retrieved their shower supplies from their respective lockers. Victor didn’t waste any time getting undressed. Yuuri had come to realize that Victor had no qualms about being nude. He never seemed self-conscious about it, and even seemed to enjoy it. Yuuri knew that the only reason Victor put clothes on at night was to make Yuuri comfortable. It wasn’t that Yuuri didn’t  _ want _ to see his lifelong crush’s gorgeous naked body, it was that he was genuinely concerned that he’d spontaneously combust if he did. Victor told him it was ok to look, but that didn’t mean  _ Yuuri _ was ok looking. At least, not without a cold shower. 

It just wasn’t fair how attractive Victor was. Yuuri had admired him from afar his whole life, only to find that the real Victor was more amazing in every way. He wasn’t quite sure how to describe his emotions toward Victor. Fondness? Yes. Love? Maybe. Lust? Definitely. What was Yuuri supposed to do when the subject of every wet dream he’d ever had was standing shirtless in front of him? 

Scratch that, he was actually pants-less now. Victor had shimmied his track pants down to his ankles and stepped out of them. Thankfully, he wasn’t wearing the skimpy black underwear Yuuri had accidentally walked in on him wearing once, but his boxer briefs were still tight enough to make Yuuri’s mouth go dry. He shook his head, trying to clear any impure thoughts from his mind. Yuuri really needed to get his libido under control. They hadn’t even talked about the physical part of their relationship yet. It wasn’t that Yuuri hadn’t thought about it, because he had. Extensively. He just didn’t feel ready. Even if he loved every moment of kissing and touching Victor, it was terrifying to think about going any farther. Not because he didn’t trust Victor, but because he didn’t trust himself to actually please Victor. How could he compare to his past self, who knew what to do, and where to touch? Victor was bound to be disappointed. Whatever their sex life had been before, Yuuri wouldn’t be able to measure up to it. So even though he was dying to lick down Victor’s chest…

Yuuri slammed his locker door as his thoughts started to stray again. He took a few calming breaths, then changed out of his sweaty practice clothes and wrapped a towel around his waist. He assumed Victor would be safely behind the shower curtain by now, so he turned around. He was wrong. Yuuri got a full, glorious, full frontal view of Victor just before he pulled the curtain in front of him. Yeah, Yuuri was definitely going to need a cold shower now. 

With Victor humming happily in the stall next to him, Yuuri reluctantly turned his own shower to frigid. He shuddered as the icy droplets hit his skin, but it did the trick. Yuuri cleaned the sweat and grime off himself, working as quickly as he could so he didn’t have to sit in the cold water any longer than necessary. He would definitely need a long soak in the onsen later to make up for this unsatisfying shower. 

Sighing, Yuuri turned the water off. He let himself drip for a few moments, before reaching for his towel to dry off. Victor’s shower was still going, as was Victor’s humming, so Yuuri exited the stall and quickly got himself re-dressed. He was just pulling an oversized shirt over his head when he heard Victor’s shower turn off. He made sure to keep his eyes averted as he heard the curtain get pulled aside. 

Out of the corner of his eye, Yuuri could see that Victor at least had a towel around his waist. He was digging through his locker, probably looking for his change of clothes. His hair was ruffled from drying it with a towel, but a few stray droplets of water were trailing down Victor’s bare back. Yuuri couldn’t help but follow their trail down to the top of the towel, which was sitting dangerously low on Victor’s hips. Yuuri snapped his gaze away again, cursing his libido once again. 

Victor didn’t seem to notice the ogling. He dressed in comfortable but stylish clothing. It made Yuuri feel a little self-conscious. He was wearing a shirt that barely fit him and sweatpants, while Victor looked like he could still go out on the town. Yuuri looked down at his shirt and frowned. He didn’t recognize it. The pattern was abstract, with a logo that he couldn’t identify. The shirt had been in his laundry pile, but maybe it ended up there by mistake? Yuuri winced as he considered that it could belong to a guest. He started to pull the shirt over his head, but paused as he inhaled a very familiar scent. Victor’s body wash; a scent he had become intimately familiar with since he started sharing Victor’s bed. The shirt belonged to Victor. And Yuuri had stolen it.

Maybe Victor wouldn’t notice. After all, the man had an extensive wardrobe, so he probably wouldn’t miss a single shirt. Right? All Yuuri had to do was get home before Victor realized Yuuri had taken his clothes, and then he could slip the shirt back into Victor’s laundry. 

Yuuri had just finished patting himself on the back for coming up with a solid plan, when he heard a quiet intake of breath behind him. He turned, and immediately noticed that Victor’s face was pink. He was blushing. 

“I was wondering where that shirt went.” Victor eyed him up and down. 

So much for Victor not noticing. “Sorry! It ended up in my laundry by mistake. I think my dad grabbed all the laundry today, he must have gotten confused. I’ll give it back as soon as we get home!” 

Victor placed a comforting hand on Yuuri’s arm, his thumb rubbing patterns that were partially comforting, and partially electric. “Don’t worry about it. You wear it all the time, so your dad probably thought you wanted it. Plus,” Victor added, licking his lips. “I enjoy when you wear my clothes.” He moved his hand up Yuuri’s arm, pulling the too-large sleeve over Yuuri’s shoulder. It slid back immediately, revealing Yuuri’s bare shoulder and collarbone. Victor was looking at him intently enough that it made Yuuri gulp with anticipation. The motion seemed to snap Victor out of his lustful trance. He pulled away, smiling gently. 

“You can hold onto it. What’s mine is yours, right?” He offered Yuuri one more pat on the arm. There was far more distance in that single motion than Yuuri had experienced in weeks. 

“Ah, right,” Yuuri replied awkwardly.

The walk home was quiet, but not tense. Victor seemed to be trying to keep a little bit of distance. Normally, he liked to hold Yuuri’s hand or bump shoulders as they walked, but tonight he had his hands shoved in his pants pockets. Yuuri couldn’t decide if he was relieved, or infuriated. He was torn between begging Victor to ravish him, and committing to a life of abstinence to avoid ever making a fool of himself in bed. It was just like the damn quad flip. He wanted to get it right, his body should know how to get it right, but his head wouldn’t let him. 

Despite Yuuri’s earlier desire for a hot water soak, he didn’t think he’d be able to handle naked Victor right now. Of course, he didn’t tell Victor that. After they both greeted Makka, Yuuri continued down the hallway to his own room. He really didn’t spend much time in there anymore, other than when he needed introvert time. Or,  _ alone _ time. 

Victor made a questioning noise as Yuuri reached for the handle of his own door, confused by the change in their routine. Yuuri very well couldn’t tell Victor that he was too horny to bathe with him so he smiled as reassuringly as possible. “I promised Phichit I’d call him,” Yuuri lied. 

“Didn’t you talk to him yesterday? Is he alright?” 

Yuuri internally cursed Victor’s attentiveness. The man was usually quite forgetful, but he seemed to remember every word Yuuri said. “He’s fine, we just didn’t get to finish our conversation yesterday.” 

Victor nodded, buying Yuuri’s lie. “Just don’t stay up too late. We have another busy day of training tomorrow!” 

Smiling gratefully, Yuuri offered Makka a final pat on the head and Victor a final peck on the lips before they parted ways. He could hear the sound of Victor’s sock-clad feet and Makka’s nails retreating down the hall. Victor was cooing at the poodle, speaking to her in a low, rumbling Russian. Yuuri wished he could remember how to speak the language, because he loved hearing Victor speak in his native tongue. 

Once Victor’s voice was no longer audible, Yuuri slipped into his room, closing the door. He didn’t have a plan, other than avoiding Victor’s unfairly beautiful body. Since he told Victor he was calling Phichit, it occurred to Yuuri that it might actually be a good idea to do that. It had been a relief to know that his and Phichit’s friendship had not wavered over the years, and that they could still rely on each other. If anyone could help Yuuri get his head on straight, it was Phichit. 

Yuuri plopped down on his bed, pulling his phone out and dialing the familiar contact. A quick glance at the clock confirmed that it was a reasonable time in Bangkok, so Yuuri didn’t have to worry about waking his friend up. 

After a few rings, Phichit answered chipperly, “Hi Yuuri! What’s up?”

“Hey Phichit, do you have a minute?” 

There was a shuffling sound, and then Phichit responded, “Yeah, you ok?” 

“I’m fine. I just…” He wasn’t entirely sure how to explain his problem. It wasn’t like he and Phichit hadn’t discussed intimate topics before, but it was still embarrassing. Yuuri decided not to jump right into the topic of his overactive libido. “I’m having a hard time with the quad flip.” 

After a few moments of silent contemplation, Phichit replied, “I feel like your coach, you know the guy whose signature jump is the quad flip, would be better equipped to help you.” 

“Victor’s helping me with the jump itself, but I don’t think that’s the problem,” Yuuri tried to explain.

“I don’t follow.” 

“I mean, I have all the pieces, I just can’t put them together.” 

“Well,” Phichit reasoned, “it’s not exactly an easy jump.” 

“I know, but I should be able to do it. I could do it before!” Yuuri complained. 

“We talked about this,” Phichit reminded him. “Some things changed after the accident, and that’s ok.” 

Yuuri sighed. “I know,” Yuuri repeated. “But I’m just so frustrated that this is the one thing I can’t get. I can’t help feeling like…”

“Like what?” 

Yuuri knew how Phichit was going to react to his next statement, but he said it anyway. “Like Victor will be disappointed if I can’t get it right. What if it ruins everything between us?” 

“Victor is ridiculously obsessed with you, I don’t think not being able to get a difficult jump that took you months to master the first time will make him upset,” Phichit reasoned. 

“I keep telling myself that. He’s stayed by my side so far.” 

“Exactly!” Phichit agreed. 

“I still just feel like I’ll never be able to live up to my past self,” Yuuri lamented. “He must have expectations for what I should be like.” 

Phichit hummed in contemplation. “I mean, maybe, but that doesn’t mean he won’t be ok with the you that you’ve become.” 

“I hope so.” Yuuri sighed. “I’m just scared I won’t be able to…”

“To…?” Phichit questioned.

“To...satisfy him,” Yuuri mumbled nervously.

Phichit was silent for a few moments. “I get the feeling we’re not talking about the quad flip anymore.” 

Yuuri swallowed hard. “Ah, well. It’s not  _ just _ the quad flip,” Yuuri admitted. 

“Out with it,” Phichit demanded. 

Yuuri was grateful that Phichit couldn’t see his face, because he knew he was completely flushed with embarrassment. “I don’t know, I’m just nervous.” 

“About sex? Do we need to talk about the birds and the bees?” Phichit teased. “When you put it in--”

“That’s not necessary!” Yuuri interrupted. “It’s not  _ that _ part I’m nervous about. I mean, maybe a bit, but it’s not the main thing.” He swallowed hard. “I’m afraid he’ll be disappointed with my...performance.” 

Phichit sighed. “Ah.” He thought for a few moments. “I mean, it’s not like you haven’t been intimate before.”

“I know,” Yuuri insisted. “But I don’t remember it. I don’t remember what to do. He’s used to the old Yuuri, who was somehow able to pole dance in public and seduce him on the ice. That’s not me anymore.” 

“But it is you! You’re still you, even if you can’t remember!” 

Yuuri shook his head, even though he knew Phichit couldn’t see. “I haven’t had those experiences, and I never will. I’m not the same person I was.” 

“Ok, maybe not,” Phichit relented, “but I told you, that doesn’t mean he won’t be ok with who you are now.” 

“But what if he’s not? What if I embarrass myself and disappoint him?” 

“Victor won’t break up with you if you aren’t good in bed,” Phichit assured him. “And honestly, no one knows what they’re doing their first time! There’s just a lot of awkward flopping around and stickiness.” 

Wrinkling his nose, Yuuri responded, “You’re not really making it sound appealing.”

Phichit made a non-committal sound. “You and Victor definitely seemed to enjoy it. I remember one time after a competition you--”

“Ok, ok!” Yuuri really didn’t need to hear his best friend’s perspective on his sexcapades. “I get it.” He tried not to let his imagination run wild coming up with ideas of what they might have been doing. “So what do I do?” 

“Well, what do you want?” 

Yuuri didn’t have to think about it. He’d been dealing with his overactive libido long enough now that he didn’t have any doubts about what he wanted, but that didn’t mean that he wanted to say it out loud to his friend. He didn’t need to voice the filthy things he’d been thinking about at night. 

Phichit must have understood the heavy silence. “I’m not going to ask what you’re thinking about, but I take it you have an answer?”

“Yes,” Yuuri confirmed. 

“And I take it that answer involves getting under a certain Russian hottie?” 

Yuuri snorted. “I feel like I should be offended about you talking about my husband that way.” 

“No time for that, you need to go get your man!” Phichit encouraged. 

Yuuri nodded resolutely to himself. “Yeah. Yeah! I will.” 

“Woo, get it, Yuuri!” 

“Thanks, Phichit!” 

“Have a good dicking!” Phichit replied cheerfully, before hanging up. 

Yuuri tossed his phone on the bed, and took a few deep breaths to psyche himself up. He could do this. Yuuri couldn’t help but chuckle to himself. It felt like he was pumping himself up to get on the ice before a competition, not bed his husband. He could do this. He’d done it before. 

Holding his chin up to inspire confidence he didn’t feel, Yuuri marched down the hall to Victor’s room. He took a few more calming breaths then called out, “Vitya?” There was no response. Victor must not be back in yet. Yuuri bit his lip as he contemplated what to do. He could strip and lay down on Victor’s bed? Yuuri shuddered at that thought. He’d never be able to wait for Victor like that. Maybe he should just call it off? Yuuri shook his head. He was going to do this. He wanted to, he wanted Victor. 

His mind made up, Yuuri slid the door open. As expected, the room was empty. Makka wasn’t even in her bed, so Yuuri suspected she was waiting for Victor by the door or hanging around his family. Hopefully the latter, since Yuuri really didn’t want Makka around for when he attempted to seduce his husband. With nothing else to do, Yuuri sat down on the bed, drumming nervously on his thighs. Sitting alone in the quiet room gave him enough time to worry about how he could mess everything up, but it also gave him time to fantasize about what it would be like to fulfil his teenage fantasy. He’d been wanting Victor for so long, and he was finally about to have him.

By the time the door slid open again, Yuuri could practically feel himself tingling with a combination of nerves, excitement, and anticipation. Victor stepped into the room, startling a little when he noticed Yuuri on his bed. He was wearing one of the inn’s green robes, which was loosely tied. 

Victor wrinkled his brow as he tried to figure out what Yuuri was doing in his room. “Everything ok?” 

Yuuri swallowed hard. “Yes.” His voice sounded tiny and far away.

Victor didn’t seem to buy it. “Are you sure? You look a little flushed, are you getting sick?” He stepped toward Yuuri, placing the back of his hand against Yuuri’s forehead. His robe slipped open a crack, revealing a sliver of naked skin. 

It was now or never. Yuuri reached forward, resting his hand on the exposed skin of Victor’s chest. Victor’s skin was warm under his fingers, and Yuuri could faintly feel the beat of his heart, which sped up at Yuuri’s touch. With a shaking hand, Yuuri spread out his fingers, which dipped under the remainder of Victor’s robe. He tentatively moved his hand, rubbing gently on Victor’s chest. Victor caught his wrist, halting the movement. Yuuri’s stomach dropped as he realized he must have messed up already.

Victor didn’t look repulsed, but he did look concerned. “What are you doing?” 

Flushing with embarrassment, Yuuri pulled his hand back like he’d been burned. “Sorry. I thought--nevermind. I’ll just go back to my room.” He stood up and tried to flee, but Victor kept hold of his wrist.

“Yuuri?” Victor’s voice was pleading, like he was worried Yuuri was going to disappear for good.

Yuuri turned back to look at him. “I…” All the courage Phichit had helped summon seemed to be gone. He was back to his normal, stuttering self. “I wanted to…”

Victor was contemplative, then his eyes flickered with understanding. His smile went from gentle, to mischievous. “Yuuuuuuri. Were you waiting here to seduce me?”

“Maybe.” 

Grinning, Victor pulled Yuuri back toward him. “I had no idea this was on your mind.” His expression softened. “But you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. Don’t feel like you have to.” 

The reassurance made Yuuri’s heart warm, and helped chase away some of his nerves. It reminded him that he was safe with Victor, who would never make him do something he didn’t want. He immediately felt silly for being so nervous. Yuuri leaned forward, pressing a gentle kiss to Victor’s lips. “I want this. I want you.” 

The grip on Yuuri’s wrist tightened, making him shudder with anticipation. “You sure?”

Yuuri nodded. “Yeah. I’m just a little nervous.”

“I’ll take care of you.” Victor’s smile turned wicked. “I do know what you like.”

Yuuri flushed in momentary embarrassment.  _ He _ didn’t even know what he liked, not really, not yet. But Victor looked completely sure of himself for the first time in a long time, so Yuuri swallowed hard and looked into his husband’s eyes. “I’m in your hands then. Please take care of me, Vitya.”

Victor smiled softly at him and leaned down to press a soft, chaste kiss to his lips. Yuuri steeled himself and pressed into the kiss, opening his mouth and licking at the seam of Victor’s lips. With a small groan Victor opened up to him and let him explore his mouth. Yuuri took his time, savoring the feel of Victor’s tongue against his, the taste of his mouth, the way Victor’s hands clutched at him, almost as if he were about to be pulled away at any moment. 

Pulling back at last, Yuuri searched his husband’s face. “Was that ok?”

Victor’s eyes remained closed for a moment, before opening slowly to stare intently down at him, wide and dark pools of desire. His voice was husky when he finally answered. “So ok. It’s been so long since you kissed me like that, I’ve missed it.”

Yuuri flushed a little at the reminder that this was all something he’d done before. “I-I just went with what felt right at the moment.”

“You feel right, here in my arms like this.”

Hiding his face in Victor’s shoulder, Yuuri mumbled “That was cheesy.”

“You liked it, though.” Yuuri could hear the grin in Victor’s voice.

“Mff.” Yuuri couldn’t think of a reply to that, so instead he turned to mouthing at Victor’s exposed collar bone. 

Victor sighed happily and his hands began to roam under Yuuri’s clothes, warm brands against his flesh, sending tingles through him. Impatiently Yuuri began pushing the green robe over Victor’s shoulders, trying to get at more of his deliciously soft skin. He’d had to endure looking without touching once already today, now that he was allowed to touch he was ready to touch as much as possible. Victor chuckled a little and allowed the robe to drop off his back to the floor, and then he pulled at Yuuri’s shirt, drawing it over his head and flinging it away. Now they were both half-naked, bare-chested in the dim light. Yuuri was mesmerized by the play of shadow over Victor’s sculpted chest, reaching out a hand to cup one pectoral. Victor’s hands came up to cup his face and pull him back into a passionate kiss, pressing into him. He crowded Yuuri backwards toward the bed until Yuuri’s knees hit the bed and he folded down. Victor followed him down without breaking the kiss, crawling into his lap like one of those oversized dogs who doesn’t know when they’ve outgrown their owner. Yuuri’s arms instinctively wrapped around Victor’s waist to hold him in place, his hands finding purchase on Victor’s glorious ass. Victor’s fingers were tangled in his hair, pulling just a bit in a way that was sending signals directly to his cock, and had him stiffening in his pants. 

Victor finally pulled away from the kiss in order to turn his talented mouth onto Yuuri’s ear, nearly making Yuuri melt into a puddle beneath him. Shivers ran up and down his back at the tingling sensation of Victor nibbling on his ear, and he clutched Victor closer. Something bumped his stomach. Looking down between them Yuuri saw the obvious tent and small wet spot in Victor’s shorts. Yuuri pressed a wondering finger into the wet spot over the head of Victor’s cock. That reaction was all from kissing him. Somehow it made all this more real. Victor really was attracted to him, and wanted him as a partner. Yuuri pressed his hand gently against Victor, feeling out the shape of him through the fabric, marvelling at the size of him and feeling a little intimidated. Victor was definitely well endowed in that regard. Pushing his hips up into Yuuri’s hand after friction, Victor moaned a little into his ear. Yuuri shivered and slid his other hand around to the inside of Victor’s shorts, marvelling at the smooth skin and firm muscle of Victor’s ass. How had he gotten so lucky to be married to this?

Sliding out of Yuuri’s lap, Victor knelt between his knees and reached for the waistband of his joggers, looking up into Yuuri’s face questioningly.

“Yes, god yes,” Yuuri croaked around a dry throat. 

Victor quickly stripped Yuuri’s pants from him and then the wet heat of Victor’s mouth was all around him as Victor took his cock into his mouth. It was all Yuuri could do not to buck into the sensation of Victor’s tongue sliding along the underside of his cock, fluttering against his skin in a way that drove all thoughts from Yuuri’s brain. An agonized moan escaped his throat and he clutched convulsively at Victor’s hair. Victor slowly slid up his cock, letting him revel in every millimeter of sensation and Yuuri nearly cried when he lifted his mouth away entirely for a moment, before plunging back down and taking Yuuri all the way to the back of his throat.

“Ahn! Vi-victor, wait I-I don’t want this to be over too soon!”

Popping off Yuuri’s cock with a lewd sound, Victor winked at him. “It’s ok my love, you have a lot of stamina in bed, you can hold back, I know you can.”

Yuuri blushed furiously and changed the subject. “You don’t even have your pants off yet!”

“I need to get the lube out anyway. Do...you want to use a condom?”

“Um,” Yuuri was flushed and stuttering at the frank conversation. “Uh, d-did we usually?”

“Not in a long time, but it’s ok if you want to. I think I have a few and we can always get more.”

“N-no that’s ok, we can, um, without.”

Victor smiled sweetly at him and went to the bedside table, getting out a small bottle and shucking his shorts. Yuuri kicked his pants the rest of the way off and lay back on the bed, waiting to see what came next. 

What came next was apparently Victor climbing on the bed to kneel while he reached behind himself with slick fingers and sank them into his body. Yuuri yelped!

“V-Vitya, what are you doing?”

“You always liked to watch me prepare myself, so I thought I’d give you a little show.”

Yuuri flushed, his cock stiffening impossibly at the lewd sounds and sights before him. “I-I just thought, I mean with this being the first time...I assumed we’d...you know...the other way.”

Victor tilted his head and smirked. “We have plenty of time to do that too tonight, but this time I wanted it to be perfect for you, and you always prefer to top.”

“R-really?” Yuuri squeaked.

“Mmhmm.” Victor’s eyes fell closed and he moaned a little as his fingers found something inside him that pleased him. His voice was a little breathy when he continued. “You like to let me ride you and use those glorious thighs of yours to fuck up into me.”

“Oh god.” Yuuri reached down and squeezed the base of his cock, pulsing and dripping in his hand. “Yea. That’s...that’ll be fine.”

Victor smirked at him again and leaned down to kiss him, lips soft and warm. He must have withdrawn his hand from his body because at that point he also wrapped slick fingers around Yuuri’s shaft and stroked. Yuuri whined into his mouth, bucking into the sensation. And then Victor was kneeling over him, was holding his cock steady, was sliding onto him in one smooth slide that left them both trembling and panting.

“Oh god, you feel so good in me Yuuri. It’s been so long.”

“Vitya-“ Yuuri reached for his husband, a little lost and overwhelmed. Victor was over him, and all around him, surrounding him in a way he’d never, in his memory, been surrounded. 

Victor leaned forward, and placed a gentle kiss on Yuuri’s forehead. “Shhh, solnyshko, I’m here.”

All at once it was too much and tears were leaking out of the corners of Yuuri’s eyes. Victor made gentle shushing noises and kissed the tears away, his hips making little rocking movements that began to distract Yuuri in the best way possible. 

“S-sorry, I don’t know what...I just...It’s all so…”

“Shhh, I know. It’s ok. This isn’t the first time you’ve cried during sex, I promise. I’ll admit, the first time it happened it freaked me out a little, but we got through it and still had amazing sex.”

“Will you...tell me what you like? I don’t know what to do next.”

“I like this.” Victor followed his words by sitting up and raising on his knees almost off Yuuri’s cock entirely and then dropping back down again. 

Shivers ran through Yuuri’s body, and he instinctively grasped for Victor’s hips, holding on more than guiding as Victor continued to ride him in a slow undulating wave. He was beautiful, over Yuuri like this, head tipped back in pleasure from Yuuri’s cock and hands playing with his own nipples. A surge of confidence hit Yuuri and he snapped his hips up to meet Victor on the next wave, thrusting deep into his husband.

“Oh god!” Victor cried out, hands going to his own hair as if he needed something to hold on to. “Yes, just like that baby. Do that again!”

Yuuri moaned at the wrecked sound of Victor’s voice and did as he was bid. Soon Victor fell forward again and buried his face in Yuuri’s neck, little whimpers and moans being driven out of him by each snap of Yuuri’s hips. Each sound was music to Yuuri’s ears, telling him he was doing this right. Him, he was making Victor feel this way, all on his own. Yuuri clutched at Victor’s head and back and drove into him over and over again. Victor slipped one hand between them and began jerking himself off, his knuckles dragging over the sensitive skin of Yuuri’s stomach.

Suddenly, Yuuri was coming with a shout. His vision went dark for a moment and then when he came to he realized he had clamped Victor to him in a tight embrace while Victor was in the throes of his own orgasm. The warm fluid spilled onto Yuuri’s stomach. He slowly began to pet Victor, like he was soothing a wild animal. Victor’s head turned and little kisses were littered over his sweat-damp neck. 

After a moment to catch their breath, Yuuri spoke. “Was that ok?”

Victor chuckled softly. “It was so ok. I’m just so happy to have you in me again. It was amazing. Top 3 experiences for sure.”

Yuuri blushed, burying his burning face in Victor’s neck. His voice came out muffled. “S’good. Good for me too. I mean. Amazing really. Best sex I’ve ever had.”

Victor laughed a little and sat up. They were still connected but the change in angle made Yuuri shiver with over-sensitized nerves. 

“Come on. We’d better clean up, we don’t want to let it dry, trust me. Then we can cuddle.”

Yuuri smiled shyly. “Ok. That sounds nice.”

The separation was a bit of a wrench, Yuuri not wanting to leave the comforting warmth of Victor’s body, but they cleaned up quickly and scooted under the covers together. Yuuri curled up with his head on Victor’s shoulder and threw one possessive leg over Victor’s, completing his capture. Victor’s fingers carded gently through Yuuri’s hair and soothed him into a meditative state near sleep. He almost missed the soft mutter of “I love you” from Victor. Almost.

A jolt ran through Yuuri, and he clutched Victor closer, as if someone might snatch him away at any moment. This level of happiness was too much for any one person, surely. As Yuuri looked up at Victor’s relaxed face, a response of  _ I love you too _ was on the tip of his tongue. He didn’t respond, though, unsure if it was just the post-coital bliss talking. He knew that he cared for Victor, but he also knew that he was a hormonal mess right now. So instead of answering, he just nuzzled further into Victor’s shoulder, humming contentedly. The sleep that followed was the best that Yuuri had ever had. He woke up to Victor’s warm, naked form pressed against his back, his arms around Yuuri in Victor’s typical octopus-like manner. 

Yuuri’s body certainly had ideas about  _ that _ , but when Yuuri carefully turned in Victor’s arms, his husband’s sleeping face was too peaceful to disturb. Even for his hormones. Something in Yuuri’s head told him Victor wouldn’t mind, but he couldn’t bring himself to disturb his lover. Yuuri loved how open and relaxed Victor looked when he was asleep. He loved even more that it was a part of Victor that he didn’t have to share with anyone else. Yuuri leaned forward and kissed Victor’s forehead, causing his husband’s nose to scrunch adorably. It was difficult to hold back a chuckle, but Yuuri bit his lip to keep himself from making any noise. 

He stretched, his muscles still pleasantly loose. The perks of being a professional athlete were that he didn’t feel particularly sore or achy after last night’s exertion. In fact, he was already thinking about another round. Maybe even the other way. Although, he’d definitely enjoyed feeling Victor around him. Maybe later he could push Victor down on the bed and…

Yuuri shook his head to clear the thought. If he was going to let Victor sleep, he needed to get up and get some air, or else his body was going to start having other ideas. It was especially difficult to keep a clear head with Victor’s body radiating a pleasant warmth next to him. Although he didn’t particularly want to leave the comfort of his husband’s embrace, he managed to carefully extract himself from the other man’s arms. Yuuri reached down to pull the blanket over Victor, blushing as he noticed the finger shaped bruises on Victor’s hips. Yeah, he definitely needed some air to clear his thoughts. How was he supposed to ever think clearly around Victor ever again? 

Victor was normally a morning person, and virtually always awake before Yuuri, so Yuuri was surprised that he was willingly awake before him. A glance at his phone revealed that while it was still early by Yuuri’s standards, it was late by Victor’s. Yuuri couldn’t help but feel a little smug about the idea that he wore his husband out. 

Dressing so he wouldn’t scandalize any guests or family members, Yuuri slipped out of Victor’s room as quietly as he could. As he made his way down the hallway, he decided to put on some tea. Victor would likely be awake soon anyway, so it would be nice to have some warm tea ready to go. And maybe breakfast. Was it too cliche to make Victor breakfast in bed? Knowing Victor, even if it was, he’d still be delighted. With his mind made up, Yuuri headed toward the kitchen.

Makkachin intercepted him just before he entered the kitchen, and he ruffled her fur affectionately. He felt a little guilty for basically kicking the old poodle out of their room, but he would have felt to weird having sex with Victor while their dog was around. He was wondering where she had stayed all night, when a throat cleared in front of him. Yuuri looked up at his sister, who was looking at him with a raised eyebrow. 

“Yuuri,” she started, “how far back does your memory loss go?” 

That wasn’t a question he was expecting. “Um, a few years. About 3, I think. Why?” 

“So you remember everything about growing up here? You haven’t forgotten anything about living here?” Mari continued. 

Where was she going with this? “No. It just seems to be the past few years that I lost.” 

“Then why is it,” Mari snarked, “that you seemed to have forgotten how thin the walls are?” 

Yuuri felt all the blood drain from his face. “I don’t know what you’re talking about!” he insisted. 

Mari snorted. “Look, I’m happy for you, but my headphones broke and I haven’t had the chance to replace them yet so work on some volume control, ok?” 

“Oh my god. This isn’t happening. We aren’t having this conversation.” 

Mari walked past Yuuri, patting him on the shoulder. “I wish I could say this was the first time.” She scratched Makka behind the ears before disappearing down the hall. “Makka is taken care of this morning,” she called behind her as she left. 

Yuuri was mortified. He’d been so caught up in the heat of the moment that he really hadn’t thought about how thin the walls were. Well, if he wanted a reason to keep his libido in check, he had it. There was no way he’d be able to sleep with Victor again without thinking about the conversation he’d just had with his sister. Oh god, what if his parents heard? What if guests heard? 

He groaned in embarrassment, finally abandoning Makka to start on tea and breakfast. While he worked, he tried to come up with ways to tell Victor that sex was off the table while they were at Yutopia. He couldn’t handle the embarrassment. By the time he had a small spread ready for Victor, Yuuri felt like he knew what to say. He set all the food on a tray and carried it back to Victor’s room, Makka right on his heels. 

When he opened the door, Victor was getting out of bed, stretching and groaning as his muscles popped. He had his back to Yuuri, displaying a smattering of bruises from Yuuri’s hands and mouth. Yuuri’s brain short circuited. He apologized to Makka, pulling the door closed as he shoved her out of the room. Victor turned at the noise, his face lighting up when he noticed the tray.

“Yuuri! Did you bring me breakfast in bed?”

Yuuri didn’t hide that he was appraising his husband’s body. “Yes. But it can all be reheated.” 

Victor caught on right away, grinning widely “Oh?”

Yuuri sat the tray on the nearest flat surface, forgetting any earlier promises he had made. “So...what else do I like?” 

\------------------------

For once in Yuuri’s life, it felt like things were coming together. He finished a runthrough of his free skate, sucking in air as he held the final pose. He hadn’t quite come back to where he was before the accident, but muscle memory finally seemed to be kicking in. He was relatively consistent with most of his quads, including the quad flip, and his technique was much more refined than at the last competition he could remember.

Victor seemed to think so too, judging by how he was cheering from off the ice. “Yuuri! That was great!” 

Yuuri smiled genuinely, skating over to the boards where Victor was already ready with his water bottle. He accepted it gratefully, gulping down mouthfuls of water. “Thanks. It felt pretty good. I’m not used to being this prepared before the season has even started.” 

“You’ve improved a lot over the past few years,” Victor agreed. 

“But am I where I need to be? I don’t know if I can defend my title,” Yuuri lamented. 

Victor looked contemplative. “You look strong,” Victor insisted, “and no matter what happens, I’ll be proud of you. It takes so much strength to come back like this.” 

Yuuri blushed. He knew Victor would say something like that, but it still felt good to hear. “I’m just nervous,” he admitted. “What if I don’t live up to everyone’s expectations? I don’t know if I can be the skater, or the person, I was before the accident.” 

“Then don’t be. Just be who you are now.” Victor smiled encouragingly. 

“But is that enough?” 

Victor reached over the barrier, grasping Yuuri’s hands. “It is for me, and for everyone else who loves you.” He leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss to Yuuri’s lips. “If it would make you feel better, I can run some numbers. Of course everyone is keeping their programs fairly secret at this point, but I can compare your base score now to where you were last year, and where your biggest competitors were. We don’t know how you’re going to progress, so it’s hard to say where you’ll be later in the season, but I can at least see where you stack up on a basic competitive level.” 

It was hard to decide which statement to focus on; Victor’s love and support, or his understanding of what would set Yuuri’s mind at ease. Yuuri leaned in for another kiss, lingering a little bit longer this time. “Thank you,” he replied as he pulled back. 

Victor beamed at him. “Only the best for my juicy katsudon,” he teased. 

Groaning, Yuuri pushed back from the boards. “I think that’s a story I could have done without.” He wanted to be surprised when Victor first told him about his original inspiration for his  _ Eros _ routine, but he really wasn’t. It sounded exactly like something he would have said. It was amazing Victor still wanted him after that.

“But it’s one of my favorites!” Victor insisted, not joking in the slightest. “Although it did hurt a little when I was making it painfully obvious that I wanted you to seduce me and you chose a pork cutlet bowl instead.” 

Yuuri rolled his eyes at Victor’s pout. “Ok,  _ coach _ ,” he emphasized that he was ready to get back to work, “how about another run through?” 

Victor straightened, considering Yuuri’s offer. “You and your stamina. Yeah, one more.” 

Once he was back at center ice, and Victor was just a blurry speck in front of him, Yuuri took up the opening position to his free skate. He waited until Victor started the music, then started moving. It had been surprisingly hard to decide on a theme for the season. Everyone he talked to expected him to do something like “revival” or “memory”, or something else that related to his memory loss. He had briefly toyed with the idea, but ultimately rejected it. It just didn’t feel right to make his memory loss the center of his program. An idea had come to him as he and Victor picked music, but he hadn’t felt ready to tell his coach what he was thinking. It had been hard to convince himself to take such an active role in planning his programs, but Victor insisted. Victor was still his primary choreographer, perhaps now more than the previous few seasons, but Yuuri added in his own elements from time to time. He wasn’t sure if he was portraying what he wanted with his skating. Victor hadn’t commented on it, but he also had a tendency to let Yuuri set his own pace. It was hard to say whether his husband was not being observant, or if he was just giving Yuuri space to figure things out on his own. Either way, Yuuri wasn’t ready for a reveal yet. He had a plan.

The final note of the song echoed through the empty rink as Yuuri held the final pose. Victor clapped enthusiastically, offering words of encouragement. “Even better than the last one!” 

After Yuuri caught his breath a little, he skated back toward Victor, once again accepting his water bottle. “It was really ok?”

“More than ok.” Victor smiled brightly. “You looked radiant.” 

Yuuri blushed, trying to hide behind his water bottle. “I looked sweaty.” 

Victor just shrugged. “You always look radiant to me.”

“You’re biased.” 

“Maybe. But I have good taste! Yuuri are you going to tell me I don’t have good taste?” Victor looked at him with mock hurt. 

Yuuri rolled his eyes. “I can’t believe I ever thought you were cool. Yurio was right about you.” 

“You’ve been talking about me to Yurio behind my back? Yuuuuuuri!” 

Chuckling, Yuuri answered with a peck on Victor’s cheek, then skated off to cool down. He couldn’t see Victor’s expression without his glasses, but Yuuri just knew based on the whine in his voice that he was pouting. Victor waited for him to cool down, then offered Yuuri his glasses when he was ready to get off the ice. Yuuri took them, along with his skate guards. 

“Are you helping the Nishigoris again tonight?” Victor questioned. 

Yuuri nodded. “Yeah, if that’s alright with you?” 

“Of course! But are you sure you don’t need my help?” 

“I’m sure.” He leaned up to leave a lingering kiss on Victor’s lips. “I won’t be too late. See you at home?” 

Victor kissed Yuuri a few more times, then drew away. “Mhm. I’ll get those numbers for you.” 

“Thank you, Vitya,” Yuuri replied genuinely. 

Victor smiled brightly, not able to resist kissing Yuuri one more time. “Love you. See you later.” 

“I...See you later,” Yuuri repeated. He’d almost slipped up, but Victor didn’t seem to notice. He just waved at Yuuri before heading to the locker room. Yuuri sighed. He almost blew it! All this planning and he was going to just blurt out that he loved Victor while they were both gross and sweaty from practice? That wouldn’t do. 

With disaster narrowly avoided, Yuuri pulled out his phone and texted the Nishigoris to let them know Victor was on his way out. It wasn’t a lie that he was going to be with them, it was just a lie about who was helping who. At least the triplets were old enough now that they had at least  _ some  _ impulse control. They agreed not to record what Yuuri was working on...in exchange for an exclusive photoshoot for their Instagram page. 

Yuuri busied himself by stretching out and warming his muscles back up while he waited for Yuuko and Takeshi. By the time they arrived, he was ready to get to work. As usual, the triplets were in tow, dutifully handing over all their phones to their parents. 

“Thanks for coming,” Yuuri said like he always did.

“Of course!” Yuuko replied, as enthusiastic as always. “Are you ready?”

Yuuri nodded. “Yeah. I don’t know if I have a lot in me tonight, because we worked hard during practice, but I don’t want to slack off. It has to be perfect.” He handed Yuuko his glasses, skating back to center ice. 

Romantic gesture or not, Victor would be livid if Yuuri was on the ice by himself, so he always made sure to have at least one other person with him. It had been a bit of a hard adjustment, since he was used to being at Ice Castle basically whenever he wanted, but it had been part of the compromise he’d made with Victor. The first time Yuuri had come home after a late night at the rink, before they were officially together again, Victor had been pacing and worried for hours. 

Familiar music flowed through the speakers, and Yuuri’s body moved on instinct. It was strange, how this routine felt more familiar than any of his own that he’d tried to emulate. It almost felt instinctual, how the music flowed through him. Of all the memories he’d lost, this was one he could almost picture. Bright lights, surprised cheers, and reaching…

The routine ended all too soon, like it always did. Yuuri held the pose longer than was necessary, letting his thoughts collect. It felt right. It felt ready. 

Apparently, he wasn’t the only one who thought so. “That was perfect!” Yuuko called from off ice. Yuuri skated up to her and Takeshi. They had one of their phones held between them, the video paused. “Every element was right.” 

Takeshi nodded in agreement. “Yup, a perfect recreation!” The triplets cheered behind him.

“I think so too.” Yuuri was surprised how resolute he felt. 

Yuuko looked giddy. “Ohh this is so romantic! When are you going to do it?” 

Yuuri didn’t want to wait. He wanted to drag Victor back here  _ now _ . But he wouldn’t. His stamina might be impressive, but even he was reaching his limit. Plus, there was still the matter of getting the appropriate attire. “As soon as possible. I already told Yurio to send the costume, so it should be here any day. I’ll let you know.” 

His friends nodded in understanding. “Sounds good! We’ll be ready,” Takeshi promised. 

He thanked his friends again for helping him, then did another cool down. Once he was off the ice, he bid them goodnight and had a quick rinse in the rink showers. As he scrubbed the grime off his body, Yuuri couldn’t help but feel giddy as he realized his hard work was about to pay off. All this extra practice and secrecy would finally be at an end. 

The giddy feeling didn’t dissipate as Yuuri walked home. He expected nerves, but strangely, they didn’t come. There was a strange sense of sureness that even if he went out and just fell flat on his face, Victor would still be happy. Victor  _ loved _ grand romantic gestures, but Yuuri wasn’t very good at them. He didn’t need his memories to tell him that. His anxiety made it hard for him to feel sure that he was making the right choice. Or at least, it usually did. Even his anxiety was quiet as Yuuri thought about what he was going to do. His Vitya was going to be so surprised. 

Yuuri called out as he returned home, kicking off his shoes. Mari met him in the entryway, gesturing for him to follow her. She led him to her room and made sure the coast was clear before she opened her door. “I’m assuming this is the super secret package you’ve been waiting for?” 

The box was innocuous, but the labeling information confirmed it was from Yurio. He sent off a quick text to his young friend to let him know it arrived. “It should be. Do you have any scissors?” 

While Mari was retrieving something to open the box, Yuuri dropped his skate bag and texted Yuuko. 

**Yuuri** : The package arrived while I was out today. Would sometime tomorrow work?

The response came immediately. 

**Yuuko** : Yes, actually. We had a birthday party in the morning that was cancelled so the rink is free. I’m so excited for you! 

**Yuuri** : Thanks :) 

They agreed on a time just as Mari was returning with a pair of scissors. Yuuri tore into the package, carefully pulling out the contents. He ran his fingers over the costume, wishing not for the first time that he could remember wearing it. A brief inspection showed that it was still in good shape, and Mari helped him try it on. It still fit perfectly. He changed back out of the costume, and carefully hung it up in Mari’s closet.

“Thanks for your help. Victor’s so nosy, I’d never be able to hide this from him.” 

Mari snorted. “You’ve got that right. I had to practically snatch this away from him to keep him from seeing who it was from.” 

Yuuri chuckled. “He’s really one of a kind, isn’t he?” 

Mari looked uncharacteristically soft for a moment. “Yeah. I’m glad you have each other.” Her stoic expression returned. “Alright, now shoo. That’s enough emotions for one day.” 

Yuuri smiled gratefully, saying goodnight to his sister and picking up his gear bag. He dropped his bag in his own room, taking care of his dirty laundry and changing into his pajamas, then he was gently knocking on Victor’s door before entering. Victor was propped up in bed, scribbling in a notepad. He looked up and smiled as Yuuri entered. Makka’s tail thumped against her dog bed, and Yuuri walked over to pet her so she didn’t have to get up.

“How was everything with the Nishigoris?” Victor prompted. 

“Everything’s all good,” Yuuri replied. 

Victor nodded in approval, then looked back down at his notepad. “I’m still working through everything, but I should be able to get it done soon.” 

“Ok,” he responded, joining Victor in their bed. He snuggled down next to Victor, leaning on his husband and enjoying the smell of his shampoo and body wash. “Vitya?”

“Hm?”

“Can we take tomorrow off?”

Victor looked over at him, surprised and a little concerned. “Are you ok?”

“I am. I promise.”

“I’m just surprised to hear you want to take time off right now. The season will be starting soon,” Victor reminded him. 

“I know. I just...there’s something I need to do tomorrow.”

Victor still seemed unsure, but he relented. “Alright. One day won’t hurt. But you’ll tell me if something is wrong?”

Yuuri sat up straight so he could kiss Victor’s cheek. “I will. I promise.” He smiled reassuringly. “It’s nothing bad.” 

“I think you’re keeping secrets,” Victor accused. 

Yuuri shrugged. “You’ll find out tomorrow,” he teased. 

Yuuri struggled to fall asleep, but he was honestly glad he slept at all. The anticipation was curling in his gut, making it impossible to shut his brain off. The nerves were still surprisingly being kept at bay, but by the time the sun started to rise, Yuuri still hadn’t slept all that well. It wasn’t ideal, but he’d manage. Fortunately, he was used to skating after a less than stellar night’s sleep. Victor didn’t have an alarm set, since they were taking the day off, but Yuuri knew his natural clock would make him rise soon, so he slipped out of bed as quietly as possible. Yuuri wrote a quick note, telling Victor where and when to meet him, and placed it on his pillow. Victor would see it when he woke up. 

Sneaking down the hall to Mari’s room was easy. Knocking loud enough to wake her up but quiet enough not to wake anyone else up was more difficult. Mari’s door opened, her hair sticking up in every direction. She grumbled irritably, but let Yuuri grab the costume out of her closet. He thanked her profusely, even after she all but slammed the door in his face. 

The rest of the preparation was easy. Head to Ice Castle, warm up, put on costume, and wait. Victor would be right on time. He wasn’t exactly a punctual person, but he would never want to keep Yuuri waiting when he knew a surprise was planned. He loved surprises (and Yuuri) far too much to wait. When Yuuko dimmed the lights, exactly when Yuuri expected, he had to laugh a little. The rink was silent, save for Yuuri’s breathing, so he could easily hear the door open and close when Victor entered. He heard Victor’s shoes clacking against the floor, stopping short of the ice. On cue, the overhead lights were switched on.

Yuuri winced a little as his vision adjusted, but he managed to keep his face from completely scrunching in displeasure. Victor’s eyes widened in surprise as he noticed Yuuri, and the familiar blue costume he was wearing. He rushed to the boards, looking like he was ready to ask a million questions.

Yuuri smiled gently. “Vitya. You are the most amazing person I’ve ever met, and I wanted to find a way to show you what you mean to me.” He took a deep breath, trying to keep himself from tearing up. He took up the familiar starting position, which made Victor gasp.

The familiar melody of  _ Stammi Vicino  _ echoed through the rink. When Yuuri first pitched the idea, Yuuko had been a little unsure.  _ Stammi Vicino  _ was about longing, which wasn’t what Yuuri wanted to portray. But  _ Duetto _ was about them. It was about their love, and their story. 

As the music changed, Yuuri managed a glance toward Victor. His face was too blurry to read, but Yuuri could see that his hand was covering his mouth. Yuuri reached out, dancing with his invisible partner. He had meticulously copied every step, every glance from the videos he could find. Where there was a lift, Yuuri had his hands on his waist, over where Victor’s hands would be. He could almost picture Victor in his magenta costume, which meshed perfectly with Yuuri’s blue one. There were some elements that Yuuri couldn’t do by himself, like being dipped, so there was a little bit of improvisation. Still, it was as true to the original as he could manage. 

Yuuri held his hand up at the level where Victor’s face would be. He knew this was where he would caress his lover’s cheek. Maybe he looked a little silly, dancing by himself, but he still poured every bit of love and devotion he could into each step, and each jump. When the music ended, he stood in the final pose, holding his invisible partner. The last reverberation of the duet faded, and all Yuuri could hear was his harsh breathing. And then, a weight slammed into him. Yuuri barely managed to stay upright as Victor clutched at him, tears in his eyes. Victor hadn’t waited a second before he ran out on the ice in his shoes and street clothes.

“Yuuri…” He seemed to be having trouble finding words, so he grasped Yuuri’s face between his hands and kissed him. He only stopped kissing Yuuri long enough to murmur, “I love you.” Yuuri returned the kiss, his arms wrapping around Victor. 

Victor made a protest as Yuuri broke the kiss, but his complaint didn’t last long. “I love you too.” 

Yuuri had much more that he wanted to say, but he was interrupted by Victor’s lips on his again as he was pulled into another passionate kiss. It was a little salty, with both of their tears dripping down their face, but Yuuri couldn’t help but think it was perfect. 

But he wasn’t done yet. Yuuri broke the kiss again, watching Victor’s eyes flutter open. He kept a hold of Victor’s hands, but skated back far enough so they could comfortably look into each other’s eyes. Both of them were tearing up at this point and Yuuri couldn’t find it in himself to care. 

“Vitya,” Yuuri started again, taking a deep breath. “I’m not great at words but I want to say something to you.” 

Victor nodded, looking at Yuuri with rapt attention.

He swallowed hard, finding his voice. Victor squeezed his hands in support. “I never knew I could feel this way about someone. You’ve stayed by my side through the worst circumstances and you’ve been nothing but sweet, and supportive. I can’t remember the promises that were made at our wedding, but you’ve upheld them nonetheless.” He smiled at Victor, still feeling tears running down his cheeks. “That’s why my theme for this season is ‘Commitment’, because you’ve shown me what that word really means. You never gave up on me, even when I’d given up on myself. You never gave up on us.” 

Yuuri could feel his voice wavering, and Victor was a complete sniffling mess. “I love you so much, and I want to prove my commitment to you too. My commitment to us,” Yuuri continued, even as Victor’s eyes widened. “I know this is kind of silly, because we’re already married but, well, I can’t remember it so…” 

Victor gasped as Yuuri dropped down on one knee, still holding his hands. “Victor Katsuki-Nikiforov, will you marry me...again?” 

Victor was immediately down on his own knees, wrapping Yuuri into a tight hug. “I will marry you a thousand times,” he promised. “I will marry you any time, anywhere.” He pulled back, gazing into Yuuri’s tear filled eyes that reflected his own. 

“So...is that a yes?” Yuuri joked. 

Victor pinched him playfully, before kissing him again. Both of their knees were getting wet, but Yuuri couldn’t feel the cold. All he could feel was Victor’s warmth. Victor rested his forehead against Yuuri’s, and muttered one single word that made Yuuri’s heart flutter;

“Yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaaand that's it! Thank you all so much for your support. This idea has been in my head a while and I'm so happy that I got to share it with you all. I've known how I wanted this to end since I came up with the idea, so I hope you all liked it!

**Author's Note:**

> Eventually I plan for this to be a multi-chapter, less angsty and more fluffy amnesia AU about the boys falling in love again. This will be as angsty as it gets, so if you like this sort of thing and feel ok with this level of angst, keep an eye out for more! I got this whole idea based on a real life story of a man who lost his memory in an accident, and never got it back. But he fell in love with his wife again anyway and got to know his friends and family again. I love amnesia AUs, but they're always so sad! I think there's some great potential for fluff that hasn't been done yet! 
> 
> In the mean time, kidnapping AU is in the works, as well as an AU where Chris coaches Yuuri instead of Victor, so keep an eye out for those!


End file.
